Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas World,

I hope that you are all surrounded by friends and family today. Because that's really what Christmas is all about.

Years ago I enjoyed the holidays like everyone else. My parents had the house that was always filled with people. Sisters, brother,dogs and kids and significant others. and of course that guy who never had his own family at Christmas. We opened our home to everyone.

Christmas and Moms have always gone together. When my mother passed away in 2003. I knew many things would never be the same. When my sister died 82 days later I was sure of it. Within a year we sold the family home and move dad to live at Del Boca Vista.

Life can change that fast. One day your arguing over who gets to play Santa on Christmas day and with the blink of an eye your visiting your dad in the home by yourself on Christmas morning. Wow how did I get here ?

I am not bitter , I swear. But you probably don't want to be around when the laughing stops.

I am thankful for all the memories Christmas gave me. I am thankful for my friends and especially thankful for Victoria.

Merry Christmas from the unofficial Team Redlands blog and Chopper. Enjoy the day , your friends and family and for the love of God don't shoot our eye out !

The Grand Chopper

The Grand Chopper ride map and description are now available on the Camp Chopper web site. Please visit the site to read about the most epic ride on the west coast this year. Wicked Hahd does not accurately describe the ride and Chris Horner continues to dodge my offer to join us.

To see the ride everyone is talking about visit To visit the site go to http://www.campchopper.blogspot.com/

It's the Freaking Catalina Wine Mixer !!!

The Camp Chopper blog site updates continue. The Thursday and Friday rides have been posted on the Camp Chopper blog.

Here are the latest updates:

The sponsor support continues to exceed expectations. Honey Stinger came through with event sponsorship, the hotel rate was beyond expectation. the wineries have donated wine, restaurants have opened their doors. Travel Paso and Paso Wine have all wanted to promote the camp. Who could have dreamt it.

The routes are longer and harder than originally thought. After loading the rides into Garmin connect I actually got physically ill and had some challenging urination. Luckily the Friday and Saturday rides are being supported by TDF trained "soigneurs". Thanks to our sponsors the vehicles are going to be fully stocked.

Yesterday I was reminded that not taking on a challenge or riding home from the coffee shop in fact brings into question ones manhood. Let me say again nobody will have his manhood questioned who rides Camp Chopper. Your attendance confirms it.

Camp Chopper Blog

With just a few spots remaining and fewer days left. Camp Chopper unveils it's blog for the first annual winter cycling camp.

Please visit the Camp Chopper site often to keep abreast off all things Camp Chopper.

Ride maps will be posted soon. Including the much anticipated Saturday ride. " The Grand Chopper ".

To visit the site go to http://www.campchopper.blogspot.com/

Anger Managment

Team Redlands invokes "Good Citizen" clause and asks Chopper to attend a Anger Management class before he returns to the Rain Cross ride.

Yesterday I began my first class and learned a lot !

Let me ask you. does your use of foul language create inappropriate and embarrassing situations for you and the people around you? Did you know this habit can be put under your control! Well wonder no more and learn to minimize the use of offensive words and expressions while enjoying a cleaner, more respectable ride.

The Ocean Sublime Series is made of exclusive downloads, composed of soothing ocean sounds from the Caribbean mixed with specific inaudible custom messages & words of wisdom from a top personal coach, motivation expert, registered and certified clinical hypnotherapist.

BMC was busy and unavailable.

Just listen to the course daily, and you can start seeing a significant difference within a matter of days!

I don't know If I am going to be ready by this Saturday but I am taking the steps necessary to be more sympathetic to my fellow cyclist. With the help of flipper and his ocean noises I should be getting better in no time.

Reward ?

RULE # 1

Its been a while since I read or wrote about the Rain Cross ride. Frankly the issues of said ride have been poured over at nausea. Anyone who rides this ride knows exactly what to expect when they show up for this Saturday ritual.

With the tweaking of the ride I did feel it was time to revisit some of the unwritten rules of the Rain Cross ride. these rules were agreed upon at the conference of riders held at the Mission Inn December 2006.

Rule:1 Running Red Lights. If said riders blow a light in an effort to gain an advantage said riders should look behind then to see what percentage of the group made the light. If 50 % of the group got split you need to soft pedal until the other group catches up.

Application of rule: If you were in that group that ran the light at the bottom of Filmore Saturday you are a bunch of pussies. Especially the ones who have been doing this long enough to keep riding ahead. Are you really that lame ? Even at the Tour de France when a group is impeded by unforeseeable circumstances the leading group does not take advantage. The only exception is Alberto Contador. He is a pussy also.

Rule:2 Shorting of the ride. This is a rider who for whatever reason is unable to do the entire ride such as go up a hill with an incline of more than 3% for 1 mile. So said rider takes a short cut then jumps back in.

Application of rule: Hey we all get sick , go on vacations , have a hangover or don't commit are life to this hobby and that's okay. But that does not allow you to poach the ride behind the leaders, chase 1 or chase 2. go to the back. This is a similar rule to getting popped at crit and for the love of god you are not eligible for the sprint. If you poach the ride and go for the sprint your are a pussy.

The moral of the rules: Don't be a pussy !!!

Every Team Has One

Every year the local cycling scene has its movement of riders between teams. The decision is never made lightly and the ramifications of moving from one team to another are made with much hand wringing and contemplation with Friends, family and clergy. Am I kidding. Yep.

As a lifetime member of Team Redlands I can say the thought of changing teams has never crossed my mind. The reason is very simple. Every club cycling team is made up of the following guys. You can find the following personalities on every team, weather the team has 8, 80 or 180 members.

Rider A: Has the word crit in his e-mail address.

Rider B: Shammy sniffer.

Rider C: Uncle Rico. Yes thanks again for that riveting story about the Barstow RR of 1984.

Rider D: Triathlon dude with TT bike and Ironman tattoo.

Rider E: Bike dude, has a cross, mountain, beach, cruiser,TT, city bike in his garage.

Rider F: Chick rider who just wants to ride a bike without the other dudes trying to hump her leg.

Rider G: Birthday Party guy. Has never completed a entire group ride in his life because he always has to get home for another freaking birthday party.

Rider H: The real deal. The guy that can really ride and never ever talks about cycling , sit ups or what the hell he had for breakfast. I like rider H.

Rider J: J is for Junior. This is the up and coming Tyke in town who is humble and just so happy to be encouraged by rider C.

Rider K: Mechanical dude. Will change your tire while your still sitting on your bike.

Rider L: The family man. Brings his wife and kids to every ride.

Rider M: Garage sale kit guy. never quite wears the current team kit all at once. Always has on parts.

Rider N: Unlike Rider M this guy wears the team kit and every optional piece 24 /7. He will show up with crap I didn't even know we made.

As you can see there is really no need to change teams because every team has one of these guys. Can you find your personality above?

Top Ten Redlands Eats

Here's the deal I live in Redlands. No check that. I am Redlands. Really ? Why am I qualifying my relationship with the town I live in. I will tell you. I was bored at home checking Yelp and Trip advisor restaurant choices. These sites should be removed from the internet.

Seriously it's like going to Youporn to rent a Disney cartoon.

Anyhow I have a kitchen because it came with my home. I eat out a lot in town. I can tell you the rubes who ranked our towns restaurants on trip advisor are not townies.

So here are my personal food recommendations in Redlands. Let's call this Chopper's early Christmas gift to all my readers.

1. Tartan , on Fridays only. The Cod with the cheesy potatoes. Rum and Coke or Gin and Tonics.

2. Benjarong , Orange Chicken and anything with the word Pad in the title. Sit on the patio. Happy hour. Correction the IPad is not as tasty here as I thought.

3. The Artisan Farm , Wine tasting on Fridays 4-6 Wilson sommelier. Eye candy for the ladies.

4. Eureka Burger , call me crazy but I love the mucho gusto taco salad. Sit at the bar the view is great.

5. McDuffs , McDuffs Scramble

6. Las Brasas , the # 3

7. Gourmet Pizza. " the Brando" " the wild Mayan " any pizza with cashews.

8. Burger Town USA , Steak sandwich , BLT, Zucchini and of course the burger special.

9. Romanos , The Fire in the hole deep dish pizza or the Chicago fire dogs make it two.

10. My honorary out of town Sushi choice Miyagi in San Bernardino. All you can eat 24.95. The best hands down Sushi on the planet including Tokyo , San Francisco and Honolulu. I don't care what shit hole part of SB this place resides or what grade is in the window or what dead hooker is on the hood of your car when you get out. It's the best period.

Wednesday Wednesday Wednesday

The Unofficial Team Redlands Blog would like to invite you all to a new and exciting ride. This is a new ride to the local landscape. Last night was the last of the test rides and next week will be the kick-off to the Winter Wonderland Wednesday night ride.

The ride leaves Stell's at 6:30 pm every Wednesday night. All riders will need a front and rear light. Scott Welsh has designed a winter pace and course to suit the season. All riders are welcome.

I rode last night and can honestly say It was fun to ride in the dark and additionally we talked about everyone who was not on the ride. It was fun and I hope you can all join us next Wednesday or we will talk about you.

Camp Chopper Q and A

Here is an excerpt from a Q and A session with the director of Camp Chopper taken from Belgium Velo weekly.

Q. Chopper why a Winter cycling Camp ?
A. This Camp is dedicated to the 40 year old man in all of us who loves to cycle and JT.

Q. But why a Camp ?
A. For years I have put in a Winter base that my buddies can only dream about. Now I am sharing the gift.

Q. Are ladies welcome ?
A. Bringing a date to Camp Chopper is like bringing a deer carcass to a hunting trip.

Q. Will you have mechanical assistance and SAG ?
A. If Andy Hayton rides the Camp we will have special 80mm tubes available. Because god knows he only got the one set that came with the rims.

Q. Will Craig yell at me ?
A. Yep !

Q. The Camp is in Paso Robles. Is the city aware of this ?
A. Yes the city has put on extra Zinfandel shift during this weeks crush.

Q. Is it going to be Cold and Rainy ?
A. Nope, the farmers Almanac is calling for dry weather that week.

Were those panties ?

If you ride your bike long enough in this town you know the guys who think they are a big deal and the guys who are the real deal. This week I got out with the Real Deal. Big E.

All jokes aside I now know what its like to have panties thrown from a moving vehicle at me while riding. All this whilst still sporting one of the hairier legs in the peloton. The ladies love Big E.

Big E is the guy who brought mountain biking to this town Sorry, Freeman. He is the reason Johnson works for Trek. He gave and took away the term Fred to JT. Big E is the reason we have black in our cycling kits.

Big E kinda a big deal in town and he has the panties to prove it.

Camp Chopper RSVP

The Camp Chopper attendee list grows each day. Not a day goes bye that someone doesn't ask me . Hey, who else is going to Camp Chopper besides me.

To be honest deciding who to invite to Camp Chopper was as painful process. I only have so many spaces and I was looking for that right mix. Kinda like throwing a party or wedding invitations. Maybe that's why I don't throw parties anymore or ....

Due to the privacy act and HIPA. I am unable to share the list of attendees who have RSVP to Camp Chopper. I can tell you that we did have someone try to RSVP thru a TEXT message. We have weened him out and he will not be attending.

We have a Market Night ?

It's October and the baseball playoffs are in full swing. Its all anyone can talk about out on the bikes. The baseball playoffs and week six of the NFL. Can you really believe the Detroit Lions are 5-0 !

Ha, that was funny. But did you know that I had to leave work early when the Sox were eliminated from the Wild card race. I became physically Ill and still cant watch TV.

But seriously it got me thinking about all the things that other people do in our little town that you may not know about.

Did you know that Redlands has a Market Night on Thursdays. while you are racing CRIT practice in a industrial park and losing half your skin. You could be eating a Gyro buying some flowers and being hassled by some religious nuts on State street.

In Oak Glenn they have Apples you can pick, eat, and buy. You can feed a Llama a nut. Its not just a place to ride your bike over. People actually go there from Los Angeles and spend the day!

In Yuciapa a city famous for the amount of glass on the streets and the backward people who live there occupied by Seniors who can only drive in the city. What the F. They have a Pumpkin Patch and A & W Root beer stand.

Instead of taking your brand new with the tags still on it Cyclecross bike to Ford Park. remember you could be playing Frisbee Golf with Wilhem instead. Fore !

And finally if you want to toughen up for next season. because you are a sensitive little flower on the bike. You need to head to Stingers the official home of the 909 Pittsburgh Steeler bar. I guarantee you will never take shit from anyone wearing Spandex and Shaved legs ever again.

Why I don't mountain bike reason # 2

Matt Freeman was out of town Mountain biking this weekend ?

Rewind Saturday for yo pleasure

Yes I wear sunscreen !

Yesterday was my annual trip to have more poor parenting removed from my face. "Yep let's just lather up our boy in Baby Oil and sit him by the lake."

If that area looks suspiciously close to the one 3 years ago it is. But as I found out 3 years ago I can use this stuff to pick up on chicks.

As a Public service announcement I would be remiss if I did not once again remind all the readers of the blog to wear sunscreen before cycling outside (not your trainer). Nutrogena with Helioplex 45 should do the job.

A special thanks to JT for the swedish sponge bath this morning. I have never been that clean in my life.

What is 174 divided by 12

In the movie Animal House there is great scene when Lonnie and Kent Dorfman are trying to get into the cool fraternity. They are continually redirected to Meet Mohammed, Jugdish, Sydney and Clayton.

At Team Redlands we have the same basic 4 guys that show up to perform any volunteer requests. Lets just call them Mohammed , Jugdish , Sydney and Clayton.

Yesterday was the a classic example. Now that the Team has grown to 174 members strong you pretty much figure if you volunteer to help out your gonna be sent home because we have to many little helpers. Nope its still just Mohammed ,Jugdish, Sydney and Clayton.

I am proud to wear the label Mohammed , Jugdish , Sydney or Clayton.

Yes I want to die but the.....

Name That Fit Contest

Secret bike fit blue prints found behind Cyclery USA. The first reader who correctly names the rider who matches this fit wins a free Camp Chopper T Shirt.

Employees of Cyclery USA are not eligible or their families.

CrossFit Chicks

Skills Clinics

Okay enough blog posts about time shares, vacations and the Red Sox. Let's get this blog back to the real reason I started it. That being the business of the high end world of recreational cycling here in Redlands.

This week the heads of state proclaimed and end to the calamity that is the carnage during group ride. The "C" word to be exact.

Can we stop just one more crash with the skill building clinics? I hope so. Do the people who need them. know they need them? I am afraid not.

Just because you are well insured and made the jump between category racings at the local Crits does not mean you couldn't use a refresher. They make doctors take continuing education classes don't they? But hey it's not like you have someone else's life in your hands. Or wait maybe you do, mine.

The thing I love about the skills clinic is its all about the rank and file members of Team Redlands. Not just women or juniors but the 80 percent of the people who ride around town in the kit.

As summer winds down I really hope more of the 80 percent club shows up. Rumor on the street is you will need to check the skills clinic box on your next year’s application.

Be advised if you can't show you attended a clinic you will be required to ride the north side of San Bernardino with JT. Trust me you don't want that.

The Summer of Chopper is over !

The sun has set on the summer of Chopper. Last week I concluded my last of the summer vacations with a trip to Maui.



Big Beach with a view of Molokini.




Waterfalls on the Road to Hana.




A Banyan tree on the hike to Waimoku falls.



Waimoku Falls



Black sand beach at Waianapanapa



Leche and Mai tai's at Aloha Mixed plate.



Oh and yes this is your last chance to ever rent the condo in Maui for $1,000 because after this year .......

No New Blog Posts until someone rents my condo !

Want to make it up to the little women for all the time you spend on your bike? How about a 2nd honeymoon or a first honeymoon Matt? How about taking the kids? Your Friends Bob Ted and Alice? Go by yourself, but don't miss this amazing offer.

Chopper's 3 Bedroom, 2 full bath condo in Maui has just become available. The condo (One Napili Way) is located a few steps away from Napili bay pictured above. Napili bay is the best snorkeling in Maui. Napili is where the Gazebo serves Macadamia nut pancakes and big Kahuna omelet's each day. Across the street is the Kapalua golf course. Hello it's Maui !

The 3 bedroom unit usually rents for $2,520 per week. Act now and pick up any week of your choosing between now and Christmas for $1,000(thanksgiving week excluded). That's like 140 bucks per night.

Contact Chopper @ Gondola1@aol.com first come first serve

Camp Chopper pre ride

The Camp Chopper pre ride took place this weekend. I have driven these roads many times but had yet to ride the routes on a bike. I can honestly say it was a real eye opener and I was able to tweak the routes for the upcoming camp.

The number one impression I took away from riding the hills around Paso. This must be the reason God invented cycling and It was probably the reason God invented mountain goats and sherpas.

The climbs are challenging and some of the roads seem to go up hill both ways if that's possible. The video was taken on one of the downhill sections so don't be fooled into thinking the rides are easy. That was the one moment I could hold my Iphone and ride.

On two separate days we will have climbs on Santa Rosa Rd and Old creek Road returning from the coast. Each of these climbs are epic. Santa Rosa Road was supposed to be used on ATOC. Camp Chopper will feature that climb at the end of the Saturday ride.

My final thoughts while on the bike were about the miles. The routes and roads are whicked tough. You cant measure the routes by miles alone. Miles are what 40 year old women training for their first marathon worry about. The rides at Camp Chopper ain't about the miles. you will find that out real quickly as I did this weekend.

365 more days !

Happy Birthday to Chopper. Chopper turns 49 today. That means 2 things. For me It means I am off to IHOP for my free Free Rooty Tooty Fresh 'N Fruity breakfast. In English, that means two eggs, 2 bacon strips, 2 sausage links, and two pancakes.

For you that means the countdown to 50 has begun. This will be a 365 day countdown to Choppers 50th birthday. During those 365 days I am going to preview and look back at all things Chopper.

Today is my day to be alone with corporate America on my birthday because their is really nothing more pathetic than going to IHOP to get you free birthday breakfast than doing it alone. Thanks IHOP and Denny's

Camp Chopper ride preview

Here is a sample of day #2 at Camp Chopper. This will be the Thursday ride. You will laugh, you will cry and I hope we all stay dry.

The rides will all begin and end in Paso Robles. Camp Chopper now officially has a mechanic to support the riders. As you can see the rides don't go by your mommas house. Unless of course your mom lives in Cayucos.

Camp Chopper

Camp Chopper actor used to look a lot better before Skin Cancer ! The only good thing about missing a chunk my face was how I was able to use my fake face to meet chicks.

Are you really trying to be the best at exercising ?

I used to have a running group in town. One of these days I will devote an entire month of stories about that crew. The reason I mentioned them was we did have one rule while you're running 20 miles. nobody is allowed to talk about running.

Now I am am not saying Team Redlands needs to invoke such a rule about cycling. because God knows there is nothing more riveting than a good old fashion criterium race recap.

But here is the deal I am going to poke my ear drum out with a knife and then shank everyone within a 10 foot circle of death around me if I hear one more person talk about working out ! When in God's name did being the best at exercising become so fascinating. I used to avoid Market night due to the religious gauntlet but now its the fitness nut jobs.

For myself I continue to use the tried and true work out skills learned from the best. Susan Pounder, Tony Little, Richard Simmons, Chrissy from Three's company and 8 minute Abs. There ain't nothing the new kids have on these exercise Gurus. Trust me and put the check book away.

Now what ?

The Tour De France is over. Your TV and life can now return to it's regularly scheduled programming.

I will miss the Tour De France, here are my final observations

1. Brothers should not be allowed to compete in the same race it's just too confusing for Alberto Contador.

2. Is the Gieco lizard an announcer for Versus. You never see Paul, Phil or him in the same room.

3. The polka dot chicks are always the best looking podium chicks.

4. Oak Glenn would probably look like Alp d'huez from a helicopter.

5. Johnny Hoogerland is the toughest MO FO on the planet.

6. Bike changes at the bottom of a climb are total BS.

7. America has lots of cycling teams. I am proud to be an American.

8. My driveway has been officially graded an HC climb in honor of the tour.

9. All RV's in Europe come in 3 colors. White, egg shell and off white.

10. Baseball is still the greatest game. Go RED SOX !!!!

The " C " Word

Since this is a Blog devoted in name sake to the world of cycling I guess it's time to weigh in on the Tour De Crash this year.

Road cycling is really dangerous I get motion sickness just watching the coverage on TV. The guys who do this for a living crash a lot . They crash on open roads surrounded by Sunflowers. They crash when someone hands them a bag with a sandwich. They crash when a french film crew in a car hits them. They crash when a guy who gets hit by a car goes under their wheel and then they crash into a barbed wire fence.

I once watched a special on the NFL channel about a guy who played center for the Raiders. He cant get out of bed without the help of boy scouts. Does anyone know what the long term effect of getting hit by a car and having your body thrown into a barbed wire fence is ?

I don't like the " C " word it hurts lots of people. Stop using the " C " word versus.

5 years ago

I have summer blogger writers block. Its happens to any good blogger. I blame the block on the Major league baseball all star break , Tour De France rest day , NFL lock out and no more naughty pictures of girls on bikes.

While searching my computer I came across these Ironman Switzerland pictures. Is it just me or was I leaner 5 years ago in my Triathlon days. Funny I don't remember being a good climber back then either.

HOP HOP CHOPPER!!

Hoosier Daddy 4th of July

The evening before the fireworks mother nature provided her own electrical show. This was the view from the Unlce Tim's deck.



Uncle Tim's on the 4th. Hoosiers really get into the 4th of July. They talk lots about politics. drink union beer and have real strong feeling about Casey Anthony.



Everybody gets in there boats and watches the show from the water. Afterwards it's every Hoosier for himself back to the dock. Lucky for me uncle Tim has his own dock.

Where in the world is Chopper ?

While the lure of racing the Ontario Criterium with a perry winkle WSD Trek and junior gears is tempting. I will opt for a trip out of town instead.

Where in the World is Chopper going....

Stay tuned for pictures and the Where in the world is Chopper give a way. Prize has no fair market value and the unofficial Blog has the right to substitute prizes.

PS: Blog gets 10,000 hit. Thanks Andrew !

Golf and Cycling

The Summer of Chopper continued this week with a trip to the Marriott Desert Springs for golf. 90 holes of golf were on the menu. I wanted to take advantage of the good weather in the desert. If you can call 112 degree's good weather.

I have to say my golf kit is just a tad more comfortable than my cycling kit. Given the choice I will take a pair of golf shorts 24/7.

It's funny the guy's I golf with are exactly like the guy's I cycle with. They just golf or they just ride a bike that's it. Why is that? am I doing it wrong?

I do have one last question regarding the Desert ,golf and cycling. When the hell do the Palm Springs boys ride their bikes. At no time in the last 3 days could I have imagined for one second riding my bike in the desert. 112 Degree's is never a dry heat trust me.

Slappin the Bass

This weekend was the official kick-off to the Summer of Chopper. Each summer I have one basic goal in mind. Go more places than the average reader of this blog and make you wish your life was as bitchin as mine.

This past weekend was a quick visit to San Diego or Whales Vagina based on your understanding of history. Rush was playing somewhere near the Mexico Border. With black concert T and really tight jeans I headed south to get Rushified and second hand smoke the Devils Lettuce.

If you can divert some of your funds away from a private session of ABS for the summer cyclist. I highly recommend you get in the car and drive to LA tonight or Vegas Friday for the last chance to see RUSH on tour. You may never have another chance because these guys are Canadian and really old. But on a serious note RUSH is the best band ever. No really ever.

For my 50 birtday I want to get drum lessons from Joey Marchiano so I can play like Neil Peart or Joey Marchiano.

My shoes smell like beer

The Hangar 24 3rd Anniversary is in the books. I have to say if you told me that someone was going to have a party in a dirt field , serve cold beer , charge no cover and play free music and nobody got stabbed I would say this event must have taken place in 1960 Mayberry North Carolina.

The Hangar anniversary was a wicked good time and Team Redlands finest were there to keep the good times flowing. My shift was the 11-3 shift. I returned to my vehicle around 7:30 pm. After my afternoon break was over ( 3 Johnny tacos , 2 pieces of Gourmet pizza and some pulled pork from Mill creek) We all pitched in a poured the last drops of Orange wheat in the 909. After the mayor of Mentone took his last drink we unscrewed the taps for the night.

Our team went " sideways " on the orange bucket that collected the spillage of all the collective beers. It was no 28th place finish at the Ontario criterium but to me it was the finest moment Team Redlands has had this year.

Cheers to Ben Cook again for inventing Orange Wheat beer. otherwise I might be riding for a Team called Chico's bail bonds.

Hangar week continues

3rd Anniversary coming !

Team Redlands sponsor Hangar 24 Craft Brewery will celebrate it's 3rd Anniversary. The event will be held at the brewery beginning at 12 PM June 11th. There will be at least 20 Hangar 24 Craft Beers pouring. As always one of those beers will be a super secret Anniversary Ale.

Local food will be provided by Gourmet Pizza Shoppe, Johnny’s Tacos and Sports and Romano's Italian Restaurant. The local music will be provided by Kelly McGuire and one other Band to be determined. Guided Tours, Growler Sales and Fills will be available.

In honor of the Hangar anniversary I have created a movie that was nominated for best animated short film that 1/2 of the movie was filmed in Mentone.

Another day and no card ?

Last year at work we started a Sunshine Fund. The basic premise of the club is that people you truly hate (co-workers) want to celebrate all of life's joys at the work place.

Events such as your birthday at the work place. a baby shower or a work place injury are just a few examples of when the Sunshine Fund kicks in. They pass a card around to help buoy fellow co-workers spirits and in no time your nasty paper cut or some toner in your eye don't seem to hurt as much.

Recently at Team Redlands we have seen a rash of crashes, falls and injuries. Lets face it we have all been on the ground at one point in our cycling career. Days and weeks go bye and no card, no phone call and no Vermont teddy bear.

I can speak for myself and nothing moved me as much as the time I hit that porta potty and broke 3 ribs and JT sent me a bouquet made up of edible fruit.

So in keeping with the sense of family that people like JT have always embraced let's get the Sunshine fund up and running. Nobody wants to hit a porta potty but it's good to know a Hallmark card will take the stink away.

I found a use for the spare bedroom

Back to our regularly scheduled programming

Earlier this month Team Redlands held it's annual Women's cycling skills clinic. I have a pretty keen eye for talent and can usually spot a rider who has NOT attended the skills clinic.

Here you can see the result of a poorly fitting Kit. Improperly sized bike and lack of understanding regarding the directional air flow of the carbon fiber frame. Lastly you rarely see the reverse cow girl on a bike.

CRIT RIOT !!!

For the longest time I have joked that I did not know what " CRIT" meant. I just figured one day I would figure it out through osmosis or the Urban dictionary. Last night I found out was CRIT was short for.

Lucky for us one of the factory's on Marigold avenue had there surveillance camera running. The footage is raw and not in english but anyone that was there can tell you the screaming was not in any language that resembled english.

A one year ban was handed out to the unknown rider of unknown origin from unknown parts. He is eligible to return next year May 20,2012. To be reinstated he must perform the following tasks:

1. Bake cookies for everyone at crit.
2. Provide a letter from the Bob Knight anger management school.
3. Wear an Orange vest.
4. Submit his name to the County for tracking data base.
5. Help JT with his lawn.
6. Get a hello kitty tattoo on his calf from Kayle.
7. Keep Pat's Pot's clean at next years Redlands Bike classic.
8. Limit cycling to Nintendo.
9. Sweep the entire course with your tooth brush.
10. Must beat the Redlands rider of my choosing on a one lap loser leave town race.

Google and Team Redlands

Once a month I check the Team Redlands Google results. I like to see how the unofficial blog stacks up against other community interests with the name Team Redlands in the title.

Last month the Unofficial blog was once again listed first ahead of such things as the Classic , a swim team , something soccer related and of course of the Official Team Redlands.com site.

It appears that more traffic may have been generated by a Redlands daily facts article that guided readers to the Unofficial blog as link for local cycling. Velo news watch out. Now I am not an english major but are the words "VERY UNOFFICIAL" really not clear enough ?

Happy MILCW

USA USA USA

It always happens in 3 feet of water

Just when Kasey thought it was safe to go back in the water. This is a warning to all readers of this blog. WICAM is coming and it's coming fast. If you need to change the parental controls on your home computer this might be a good time.

On a similar note I can't help but think that a cyber attack upon team redlands was actually meant for the unofficial blog. WICAM and it's promotion of women in cycling appeared to be in direct contrast to that organizations focus.

Spring cleaning sweep Go Sox !

The weekend in Anaheim went off without a hitch. No fights in the bathroom, no fights in the parking lot and only one fight in the stands. That fight was over a foul ball. Angel fans down the right field foul pole think you should throw back a foul ball hit by a Red Sox player. The Red Sox swept all 4 games in Anaheim. Suck it Angel fan.

A quick note to all Angel fans:

- No one who roots for Boston considers you a rival team.
- Anaheim Stadium is not Wrigley Field.
- A Rally Monkey is a toy you were duped into buying not a tool to score more runs.
- A stadium you drive to sucks. Sitting in a $15 parking lot traffic jam is lame.
- Sushi is not stadium food.
- Changing your name to Los Angeles is not really accurate. Why not Garden Grove ?

Good luck the rest of the season Angel fan its always nice when we get to spank the rally monkey in the playoffs.

Go Sox !!!!!

It's that time of year again. No, not Devils Punchbowl. I told you I did not leave any valuables there and I did not meet any local pear blossom girls . So there is no reason for me to drive on that road to hell ever again. whew!

Tonight my beloved Boston Red Sox begin a four game series against the Angels. The last time I was seen in the stadium I was asked by Angel fan where I was going. I said I was gonna watch the rest of the game at his mothers house.

On the heels of the Dodger stadium attack I must admit I am a little nervous about going to Angel stadium in my Pedroia jersey. I have been training and really feel like I can take a family of four and their little plush Rally Monkey's.

Tonight I will be riding Crit with a rally monkey tied to a rope. Go Sox !!!

Big news coming soon !

Are you reading this blog and saying to yourself. Hey, I never got to attend a cycling skills building clinic. or Dang, I didn't get to go to the Juniors ankle bitters tactics camp at Epcot center.

Well, fret no more rank and file of Team Redlands because a sneak preview of a cycling camp is around the corner. That's right. A winter training camp is in the planning stages. Stay tuned blog for the dates and location of the camp.

Power rankings announced

The old Team Redlands power rankings were pretty easy. The list was made up of the four horsemen and 6 dudes who used to be kinda a big deal or I thought they would kick my ass if I left them off the list.

Now that Team Redlands has more member's than catholic fraternity house at Notre Dame my job just got a lot tougher. The too big to fail cycling team has lots of big hitters and cyclist who were traded from other teams for a rider to be named later.

Some of you may never get employee of the month, win a free burger at Red Robin or have a neighbor compliment you on your lawn and frankly I don't want this to add to your life of unfulfilled dreams.

Here is the list in alphabetical order.

Холодная гора
Южный вокзал
Центральный рынок
Andrew Sjogren
Советская
проспект Гагарина
Спортивная
Cynthia Sjogren
Завод им. Малышева
Московский проспект
им. Маршала Жукова
Советской Армии
Morgan Sjogren
Индустриальная
Тракторный завод
Пролетарская