Voted # 1 source for Team Redlands information

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Snap into a Slim Jim

Hey Contador , Snap into a Slim Jim.

Slim Jim and Pistol boy kick off new cycling team.

ConAgra wasn't exactly forthcoming on what's inside a Slim Jim. So Alberto and ConAgra appear to be a perfect match.

I was able to determine the following ingrediaents.

Mechanically separated chicken
Poultry scraps are pressed mechanically through a sieve that extrudes the meat as a bright pink paste and leaves the bones behind (most of the time).

Corn and wheat proteins
Slim Jim is made by ConAgra, and if there are two things ConAgra has a lot of, it's corn and wheat.

Lactic acid starter culture
Although ConAgra refers to Slim Jim as a meat stick (yum), it has a lot in common with old-fashioned fermented sausages like salami and pepperoni. They all use bacteria and sugar to produce lactic acid, which lowers the pH of the sausage to around 5.0, firming up the meat and hopefully killing all harmful bacteria.

Serves as food for the lactic acid starter culture. Slim Jim: It's alive!

Salt binds the water molecules in meat, leaving little H2O available for microbial activity—and thereby preventing spoilage. One Slim Jim gives you more than one-sixth of the sodium your body needs in a day.

Sodium nitrite
Cosmetically, this is added to sausage because it combines with myoglobin in animal muscle to keep it from turning gray. Antibiotically, it inhibits botulism. Toxicologically, 6 grams of the stuff—roughly the equivalent of 1,400 Slim Jims—can kill you. So go easy Alberto.

Monday, September 27, 2010

All jacked up on Mountain Dew !

I attended the team meeting last Thursday night. I have many observations but a brain that can only hold 1 to 2 at a time. So here are two observations. The new and improved Team Redlands will have an emphasis on Women cycling and Juniors.

Is it just me or did I already cover that with the introduction of WICAM. Seriously I should have patented that term. I have been promoting more women in cycling for years. Welcome aboard !

Team Redlands has also made a commitment to the kids. A commitment to help the Inner City Country Club kids of Redlands achieve more through cycling. Helping keep these young lads of the streets is a program we can all support. Wait , did that make sense.

Anyhow, just this weekend I helped out Walker and Texas Ranger. I explained to them the " 5 " second rule of cycling. They thought it was a term referring to an ice cream or burrito. They said Chopper was more fun than the other mentors and have asked for a new big brother.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Team Meeting this Thursday !

The leaves are falling and so are the temperatures here in Redlands. This can only mean one thing. It's time for the annual team meeting.

This years team meeting is being held Thursday night @ 7pm. Team meetings as we have learned are not only fun , but informational. This years meeting will deliver on both counts as we welcome the new partnership between Possibilities and Team Redlands.

Here is a preview of the team meeting agenda:

1. Amnesty for all prior members , one night only no questions asked.

2. Group Hug immediately following # 1

3. Big brother mentors for the Juniors.

4. The purchase of a bitchin van.

5. Leg shaving break out session.

6. Hangar 24 discount program.

7. Review Fraternization policy.

8. The burning of all past years kits. No more old kits. One team One kit.

9. Chaperone's for the Juniors skill building trip to Epcot Center.

10. How much money it would cost to buy the rights to the Teamredlands.blogspot from Chopper.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Stell's has a VIP room ?

The Team Redlands regulars were hahd to find on today's ride. I was asked by more than one person if I had missed the team e-mail regarding an alternate ride.

When I returned to Stell's I was surprised to find that in fact there was a surprise party in my honor. It was not my birthday and I did not turn 50. But , yes there was a party !

Friday, September 17, 2010

Sneek Peek

The Team Redlands Kit committee was spotted at Stells last night working on the new kits. I was able to procure a picture of one of the new concepts being explored.

The main emphasis for this years kit appears to focus on style , function and Bavaria. As usual the sizing looks like it might run a little small.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

This Timmy rides for all the right reasons !

Here is a picture of a cute kid wearing his dad's helmet ! , He wanted me to let everyone know he is cute but he can also ride fast , just like his pappy.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Act fast !

Just like Team Redlands the unofficial blog is sorting through the various sponsor options for the coming year. An exhaustive search was performed to find a company that matches the blogs sense of family values and lifestyle choices.

Fitness Singles will offer all readers of this blog a free 2 week trial membership. Hopefully in that 2 weeks you will find a women who enjoys sitting around in her chamois all day and watching your old DVD's of the 2003 tour de france.

Yes imagine a life now where your hobby and your mate join in a harmonic convergence. Remember to put the code word Critscum into the offer box to activate your free trial membership.

The Team Redlands bylaws will have a new fraternization policy so please act fast !

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Were not all pointed the same way

If you think the parking lot at Stell's has a lot of team cars , you should see the cars outside the Berlin location.

I have been off the bike a lot this month. I have flown from Ontario , Long Beach and Santa Ana in the last 30 days.

I am not really sure why that's important but I think it is because I just wrote it.

Oh I know why I just wrote that. because my riding has been erratic lately because riding should be erratic this time of year.

Some people will continue to bang there head on the Rain cross ride. Some of you will get back in the gym and build you quads. Some of you wont let your HR get over 130. Some of us are just getting back from a trip and others just ride at the same pace all year long.

What ever tickles your Pickle. The season is over.

So here is a friendly reminder. Many people ride at different speeds and efforts this time of year. If you don't like the effort of someone on the ride. then don't chase them.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

You might be a Team Redlands rider if:

As most of you know by now the Team Redlands merger is official. Many of you may be asking yourself a few questions. Hey I don’t feel any different. I look the same. My wife and kids did not act any different towards me.

let me help you with the your transition and make your move to Team Redlands a smoother one. Here is a handy guide to let you know if you ride for Team Redlands.

You might be a Team Redlands rider if:

1. Your quads burn while riding. But the source of the burning is a punch to the quad not from a hard effort.
2. You flat on a ride and you perform 100 % of the repairs by yourself.
3. You don’t have socks that match your kit.
4. You have never been inside the home of anyone you ride with ever. Not once.
5. AAA wants to know why you cancelled your insurance.
6. You have developed a stutter or a twitch.
7. You now have a growler in your fridge where milk used to go.
8. You know the history of the old Salton Sea highway.
9. Greg Johnson has measured your inseam for a new Trek.
10. You added no new friends to Facebook.

On behalf of the entire staff at The Unofficial Team Redlands blog welcome. Team initiation and application process will be addressed at a later date. Nothing to worry about for now. Just enjoy the ride.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Blog Traffic

Much like the North Koreans I monitor Blog and You tube traffic related to Team Redlands. I really didn't need a pie chart to let me know your wives think this blog sucks. But just in case we now have empirical evidence to that fact.

Here you can see the global impact of the Team Redlands blog. Apparently J. Weaver has not checked the blog since he moved to France. If you squint really hard I think we may have a reader from Trinidad & Tobago.

The Team Redlands blog did rank number #13 among the Hot Dog on a stick workers. In an attempt to keep them reading the new Team kits will probably incorporate one of the above colors.