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Wednesday, April 27, 2011

It always happens in 3 feet of water

Just when Kasey thought it was safe to go back in the water. This is a warning to all readers of this blog. WICAM is coming and it's coming fast. If you need to change the parental controls on your home computer this might be a good time.

On a similar note I can't help but think that a cyber attack upon team redlands was actually meant for the unofficial blog. WICAM and it's promotion of women in cycling appeared to be in direct contrast to that organizations focus.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Spring cleaning sweep Go Sox !

The weekend in Anaheim went off without a hitch. No fights in the bathroom, no fights in the parking lot and only one fight in the stands. That fight was over a foul ball. Angel fans down the right field foul pole think you should throw back a foul ball hit by a Red Sox player. The Red Sox swept all 4 games in Anaheim. Suck it Angel fan.

A quick note to all Angel fans:

- No one who roots for Boston considers you a rival team.
- Anaheim Stadium is not Wrigley Field.
- A Rally Monkey is a toy you were duped into buying not a tool to score more runs.
- A stadium you drive to sucks. Sitting in a $15 parking lot traffic jam is lame.
- Sushi is not stadium food.
- Changing your name to Los Angeles is not really accurate. Why not Garden Grove ?

Good luck the rest of the season Angel fan its always nice when we get to spank the rally monkey in the playoffs.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Go Sox !!!!!

It's that time of year again. No, not Devils Punchbowl. I told you I did not leave any valuables there and I did not meet any local pear blossom girls . So there is no reason for me to drive on that road to hell ever again. whew!

Tonight my beloved Boston Red Sox begin a four game series against the Angels. The last time I was seen in the stadium I was asked by Angel fan where I was going. I said I was gonna watch the rest of the game at his mothers house.

On the heels of the Dodger stadium attack I must admit I am a little nervous about going to Angel stadium in my Pedroia jersey. I have been training and really feel like I can take a family of four and their little plush Rally Monkey's.

Tonight I will be riding Crit with a rally monkey tied to a rope. Go Sox !!!

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Big news coming soon !

Are you reading this blog and saying to yourself. Hey, I never got to attend a cycling skills building clinic. or Dang, I didn't get to go to the Juniors ankle bitters tactics camp at Epcot center.

Well, fret no more rank and file of Team Redlands because a sneak preview of a cycling camp is around the corner. That's right. A winter training camp is in the planning stages. Stay tuned blog for the dates and location of the camp.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Power rankings announced

The old Team Redlands power rankings were pretty easy. The list was made up of the four horsemen and 6 dudes who used to be kinda a big deal or I thought they would kick my ass if I left them off the list.

Now that Team Redlands has more member's than catholic fraternity house at Notre Dame my job just got a lot tougher. The too big to fail cycling team has lots of big hitters and cyclist who were traded from other teams for a rider to be named later.

Some of you may never get employee of the month, win a free burger at Red Robin or have a neighbor compliment you on your lawn and frankly I don't want this to add to your life of unfulfilled dreams.

Here is the list in alphabetical order.

Холодная гора
Южный вокзал
Центральный рынок
Andrew Sjogren
проспект Гагарина
Cynthia Sjogren
Завод им. Малышева
Московский проспект
им. Маршала Жукова
Советской Армии
Morgan Sjogren
Тракторный завод

Monday, April 11, 2011

Power Rankings coming soon !

It's that time of year again. Time to update the Team Redlands power rankings. The power rankings were born right around the time the blog was introduced. WICAM can be traced to the power rankings.

Here is a brief explanation again of how the rankings are calculated. Let me try to explain the rankings by giving you an example of a fictitious Team Redlands rider.

Fred is an out of work self employed contractor. He is out of work because of the economy. He has 2 children but no religious affiliation. His wife has left him because he loved his bike more than her. He has a parent in a home in town but the caregiver does much of the work. He will drink at the Hangar if others are going. Fred only rides crit. I have never seen him at the Tuesday night worlds.

As you can see here no mention of Fred's cycling ability has been made. Outside factors really can give you +/- to your power rankings. Fred's power rankings would have been adjusted like this.

Work - 3, Fred has lots of time to train he should ride good. Not fair. Score would have been reduced -5. I gave him a break because of the economy.

Kids + 4, Fred get 2 points per kids. they are a time suck and a pain in the ass.

Religion 0, Fred is going to hell. why should he also loose power points.

Drinks +5, Fred drinks, I like Fred seriously you guys have no idea how hard it is to balance drinking and riding.

Wife - 5, Fred has no one to answer the question when will you be home from the ride. Fred can ride for ever !

Crit Scum - 10, Fred is CritScum he can only make his bike turn right on a flat surface. Fred watches Nascar.

Aging parent + 1, Fred is a good son for putting his dad in a home and not taking care of him.

The new Power Rankings will be released Thursday night. Please do not attempt to contact any official from the power ranking committee.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Home boy in SoCalCycling

Andrew fresh of a his stint as podium boy eye candy makes cover of SoCalCyling. In keeping with the tradition of Team Redlands riders. Andrew SoJo is the latest to be featured on the SoCal web site. Or at least spotted in the upper corner of the picture.

Earlier that day Andrew did his part for the Redlands Bike Classic. JT had applied for the position but was passed over due to age restrictions. Andrew was selected because he has a closet with only black clothing. We are all going to pitch in a get Andrew some khakis and a yellow polo.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Bees, Flat's and Heat !

Local girl and Team Redlands member Joy has written a race recap of her Redlands Classic experience. Here is a link to read about her time trials and tribulations of the weekend. I warn you it will make you laugh and cry.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Finding your one thing

I was thinking long and hard about the bike classic. I had lot's of takes about the four days. The guys who raced. The time I spent with the redlands classic volunteers. The usual suspects on the curbs. The usual drinkers at the VIP tent. The guys who never put a number on their kit. Twitter and winning. The guys who help out every year with registration. The town folk who support the classic. the town folk who don't. The weather. The kids races. The USA crits. Redlands is not Ontario, you just can't just show up and think you are gonna sit in. Getting old is not for pussies. Podium douche bags(not Andrew). How when dealing with volunteers the first word out of your mouth always needs to start with the words "thank you". What I learned about turning left on the crit course instead of the 4 right turns. That the Redlands crit course separates the posers from the racers and usually in 2 laps. The classic is a Redlands tradition. But most of all I learned that lots of guys I ride with still can't figure out what that one thing is.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Downtown Crit = Twitter

I can some up today in one word. Twitter. Chopper was the guest host for today's downtown crit action. To see a recap of my duties simply log onto Twitter and search "redlandsclassic ".

I slipped in a few local boy references , hangar 24 and Monster Media. BMC , Craig and Norm continued to show well in the men's field. While Joy keeps living the dream in 63rd place.