Voted # 1 source for Team Redlands information

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Donde estan las Batteries ?

For years I have taken my father to Radio Shack for his electronic needs. And by electronic needs I mean he needs batteries. The transaction has always been a smooth one. See Radio Shack is located in the Mall attached to the Albertsons on Redlands Blvd.

Radio Shacks never fell victim to the pressure of relocating the store by the Walmart or get some new space at the Citrus Plaza. Apparently foot traffic and sales volume are not important to this electronics giant.

The only thing Radio Shack has ever asked of me is my Zip code. For the life of me I don't know why they need that information to sell me a battery.They were clearly in favor of the Patriot act. In fact I would not have been surprised if The CIA subpoenaed Radio Shack records to determine what Americans use too many batteries.

Now the genius that brought us the Tandy computer are the title sponsor for Lance's UCI team for next year. Below are only a few of the electronics weapons that will be at Johan and Lance disposal.

Here is the Tandy 64 that will be fastened to the dash of the team car. I bet the chiropractor has already rushed out to buy one for his business.

Below is the T-2000 calculator. The buttons were specifically designed with Alpe duez in mind. no fumbling ever again to figure out how much time another rider is up the road. Careful when computing a Shleck that can be confusing.

Good luck to Team Radio Shack next year and for the record they don't sell batteries to anyone with a Spanish zip code.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

"O" ring beware

A good friend from Austin read my post yesterday. Here is a brief excerpt from his e-mail.

Hey Chopper,
Wow, Sorry to hear that your getting you ass kicked by the local fat kids on mountain bikes. That can be frustrating when your bike cost more than their house. I thought you were connected with some obscure government agency, can't you just make problems go away.

Anyway I have sent you a few cans of Lance's Biker Beans. These babies have been putting me at the front of the peloton for years. The above photo has been enhanced so you can see the true power out put.

Just combine these beans with your favorite breakfast food and get ready to see and smell the results. your friends will notice the difference. just don't do any lead outs until you can control your new found power. A blown out '' O'' ring is a possibility.
And warning please do not under any circumstances attempt to run after eating a can, the effects are devastating.

Just another reason why I don't run anymore.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Take a number

I was going through some old ride photos. This picture was taken in Austin Texas on a 100 mile LiveStrong ride a few years ago.

The weekend had many highlights. I know your thinking we played catch with Matthew McConaughey with our shirts off, but that is not true it never happened and I don't even own a bandanna.

As a lifelong member of the all " Airport Team " I can tell you the last 6 months of cycling has felt just like that photo.

See, when your cycling is based on how good you look walking Through the Airport terminal you may end up on the wrong end of a fence line altercation.

As an All Airport team member my cycling prowess is based on some vague accomplishments from many years ago. Mine is based on a few Ironman finishes. People must think I am a good cyclist from days ago. Nobody bothers to check the Internet they just assume I must be because I am friends with the four horsemen.

All Airport team members usually wear some $ 200 prada sunglasses. This will put you on the all Airport team. Looks the part going through the terminal , but really no game.

The problem is this when you are all airport and you go down with a broken pelvis you are screwed like cattle in a fence. Every local yocal townie is gonna get a poke at you. I can tell you It is no fun riding in pain or getting it from a local.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Mascot Search

The search for a team mascot will provide yet another chance to show just how much we all have in common. The Marketing director for Donnie Deutche provided the above sample mascots based on the various team traits.
I was really amazed out how she came up with the above illustrations based on a 3 question profile. She also felt like Team Redlands name didn't capture our spirit. I told her we were throwing around the name team " potty mouth" she agreed.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Sister team search begins

In 1963 Hino Japan became Redlands sister city. In carrying on this proud tradition and out of honor for WICAM Team Redlands has begun a search for a sister team.

After an exhaustive search scanning the World Wide Web and by that I mean using a few key words in my Google search, one team appears to be the right fit.

Hello Team Vanderkitten

Vanderkitten seems like a logical choice, we could brake down all there accomplishments or talk about there sense of community. There unselfishness towards there fellow man. We could talk about there devotion to keeping the planet green or there use of biodegradable tires.

Instead I will simply show some more pictures of Team rider Liz Hatch. Liz has green lighted the use of some more of her photo’s; we are still waiting on her to green light our sister team status.