Voted # 1 source for Team Redlands information

Saturday, June 27, 2009

If the vans a rockin don't come ....

New team camper coming to a Ontario crit soon. Team Redlands Representatives are closing in on a deal that would bring this top of the line sport camper to our team. We are just waiting for our State Farm agent to pull together some final numbers on the collision and replacement costs.

Apparently the camper may have been owned by one time local cycling legend Steve Hermanson. Another rumour was that John Voight may have stayed in the camper one night.

Either way with a fresh new paint job and some team colors the van will definitely bring our team some much needed attention. Imagine kicking your feet up between crits and enjoying a cold pop from the complimentary ice chest. Or just sitting around listening to stories about the good old days.

Damn it's gonna be sweet. We just need to agree upon a new name.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

You can do it !

When did the group rides become so damn popular. This weekend I was looking around at the raincross ride and I was thinking that we are just about maxed out on attendance.

The line for the crapper at the Taco place is a solid 10 minutes , and we all remember the time Jeff threw a deuce and we had to throw up some yellow police tape. The lady at the VIP wee wee spot finally asked us to cease and desist.

Actually It's nice to see the sport that I have devoted a good 200 hours into gaining popularity. I just need to figure out a way to get money out of the people doing the rides.

Who wouldn't pay good money to attend a Freeman climbing clinic or an Anger management webinar co-hosted by JT and Turner. Maybe a cycling daycare van that sags the rides and keeps Timmy in line. The possibilities are endless. Sup Able.

Anyhow the real purpose of this post is to give the crowds a big shout out. I remember when the only spectators on the Tuesday night world championships was a dude watering his lawn on Sunset.

Now we have people arriving early for the best parking spots and I even saw some tailgating last night. I heard the Churro guy sold out by 6:30. And good luck getting one of those foam # 1 fingers that read Health net.

Cycling in the 909 is growing and now we have the crowds to prove it. Damn i bet next week you might see a guy in a devil suit on the wall.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Who's your Daddy ?

I asked my dad today, hey gee dad back in the day when I was a little tyke I have vague memories of you leaving the house every Saturday morning. What were you up to back then?

Well boy, me and the fellas used to get together and ride our bikes.

Here is a picture of me in my team kit. We used to ride on a team sponsored by GM they used to sell cars, ever heard of them? Nope.

Gee, dad that kit looks a lot like a gabardine suit. Oh yeah son before the good people of Monsanto invented lycra spandex. We wore gabardine. The old outfits didn’t breathe the way your kits do, but our junk wasn’t on display either. People back then slept in twin beds.

Thanks for the picture and the great story dad , happy fathers day.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Eye Test

Here is the deal I can read this sign and I have had a suspicion for a while I was doing it wrong.
Some of you had mentioned I might be doing it wrong but I didn't listen. Now I know I am doing it wrong.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Where were you this weekend?

This weekend the Rain cross ride was not as big as usual. This was due to the inclement weather and competing ride around the bear. With the lure of nicer weather and a chance to cool off, many riders headed up to the mountains.

I was forwarded some pictures of the day. It has been a while since I have been to Big Bear Lake. Looks like the same wholesome fun as always. Dang that Pipe looks sweet.

It got me thinking. See I always enjoy hearing what people think I am doing when I don’t make it back down for the Sunday ride.

In my case it’s just a given that I am spiking volleyball's with some forever 21 models while drinking a Zima.

So remember it’s just assumed what you’re doing when we don’t see you on the ride. Don’t even think about bringing that anesthesia for cats, carpet cleaning for the shut In's, helping out with the boy scouts and paint ball day with the family crap . We know what you’re doing, we always know!
PS: Stay off the Pipe !

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

909 a fun place to ride !

Here at Team Redlands we receive many cards and letters. Just the other day, I received correspondence from someone looking to relocate to the 909.

Dear Sirs,

Due to the economic down turn my family will be forced to relocate here to the 909. I have garnered a high paying job at ESRI in Redlands. I was wondering if you could point me in the right direction. I am looking to join a cycling team. Could you give me a brief rundown of the different teams?

Name withheld due to the privacy act rights

Dear, Douche Bag

Yes, I can give you a brief description of the road cycling scene here in Redlands. The three major teams in town are sorta like the Moose, Elks and American legion in fact let’s just call them that for now.

The Moose are a friendly bunch of fellows. They will help you with a flat, give you there last bottle of Gatorade and never leave you behind while passing through the Mead Valley area. They enjoy Crit practice and long walks on the beach.

The Elks are an upstart bunch of young bucks that through will power, hard work determination and positive thinking are making a splash in the southern California race scene. They have pizza parties and often carpool to the rides. They never ride alone and I think they have jackets with there names on them. They are working on nicknames right now, so it might be a good time to join them.

The last group is a great place for a new cyclist. There is nothing more this group loves than mentally tormenting a new person. Bob knight wouldn’t make it to the Calimesa burger king on the Sunday ride without quitting. Trek was going to green light some project one bikes for us that read “suck it “. Due to a typo at the factory we all had to buy our own bikes. All religions welcome.

Good luck to your family and we hope to see you on a ride soon.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Love ya Blue !

In poker we have a saying, if you can’t find the sucker at the table it’s you. You can often find yourself in a similar position in cycling. Just this weekend I found myself on the wrong wheel at the wrong time. Let me explain.

See as one of the team plumbers you can sometimes forget that you don’t posses the speed, agility and basic cycling skill of the other Team Redlands riders. You can get caught up in the moment because you are wearing the team kit.

I am guessing the internal monologue for everyone on Saturday with 1000 meters to go went something like this:

Chopper: Hey look at me I am on JT’S wheel!
JT: Ok, all is well moving up the outside, going to bring norm up.
Norm: Foist how did you get up here?
Craig: I should punch someone in the quad.
Miller: My quads look good.
Manning: These people are way under insured.

Chopper: Crap I am on JT’s Wheel.
Norm: Whoa I have a kid
JT: Glycogen stores are good, all pistons are firing. I could have lead out Cippolini in the day.
Craig: I am going to give that guy in the truck a neck punch.
Manning: Does that dog need a home?
Miller: I miss Padgett

JT: (looks behind him and sees it’s not one of the chosen on his wheel) WTF.
Chopper: Just living the dream
Norm: Play times over till I get home.
Craig: My quads look better than Miller’s
Miller: My carpet need’s cleaning
Manning: I like Scotch, I like saying Scotch, and maybe I should go to Scotland. Is that where Scotch is from?

My dad always said there are just some things you don’t spray paint on an overpass.

Friday, June 5, 2009

Hello Kitty !

Here is a sneek preview of the upcoming women in cycling appreciation month. If you look really closely I think you will find a hidden message to me in the picture.

Did I mention next season we are looking to increase women on the team.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Two Hands Timmy !

Since we were unable to get team photos taken. anonymous people came through with a few pictures of some Team Redlands riders.
If you can correctly determine the names of all four riders you will receive a free full body skin cancer screening. Brief nudity will be required.
If you look closely you can still see the same riding prowess that the unnamed riders still posses.
I think Norm still gets his hair cut at the same place. oops.