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Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Monday, November 28, 2011

RULE # 1

Its been a while since I read or wrote about the Rain Cross ride. Frankly the issues of said ride have been poured over at nausea. Anyone who rides this ride knows exactly what to expect when they show up for this Saturday ritual.

With the tweaking of the ride I did feel it was time to revisit some of the unwritten rules of the Rain Cross ride. these rules were agreed upon at the conference of riders held at the Mission Inn December 2006.

Rule:1 Running Red Lights. If said riders blow a light in an effort to gain an advantage said riders should look behind then to see what percentage of the group made the light. If 50 % of the group got split you need to soft pedal until the other group catches up.

Application of rule: If you were in that group that ran the light at the bottom of Filmore Saturday you are a bunch of pussies. Especially the ones who have been doing this long enough to keep riding ahead. Are you really that lame ? Even at the Tour de France when a group is impeded by unforeseeable circumstances the leading group does not take advantage. The only exception is Alberto Contador. He is a pussy also.

Rule:2 Shorting of the ride. This is a rider who for whatever reason is unable to do the entire ride such as go up a hill with an incline of more than 3% for 1 mile. So said rider takes a short cut then jumps back in.

Application of rule: Hey we all get sick , go on vacations , have a hangover or don't commit are life to this hobby and that's okay. But that does not allow you to poach the ride behind the leaders, chase 1 or chase 2. go to the back. This is a similar rule to getting popped at crit and for the love of god you are not eligible for the sprint. If you poach the ride and go for the sprint your are a pussy.

The moral of the rules: Don't be a pussy !!!

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Every Team Has One

Every year the local cycling scene has its movement of riders between teams. The decision is never made lightly and the ramifications of moving from one team to another are made with much hand wringing and contemplation with Friends, family and clergy. Am I kidding. Yep.

As a lifetime member of Team Redlands I can say the thought of changing teams has never crossed my mind. The reason is very simple. Every club cycling team is made up of the following guys. You can find the following personalities on every team, weather the team has 8, 80 or 180 members.

Rider A: Has the word crit in his e-mail address.

Rider B: Shammy sniffer.

Rider C: Uncle Rico. Yes thanks again for that riveting story about the Barstow RR of 1984.

Rider D: Triathlon dude with TT bike and Ironman tattoo.

Rider E: Bike dude, has a cross, mountain, beach, cruiser,TT, city bike in his garage.

Rider F: Chick rider who just wants to ride a bike without the other dudes trying to hump her leg.

Rider G: Birthday Party guy. Has never completed a entire group ride in his life because he always has to get home for another freaking birthday party.

Rider H: The real deal. The guy that can really ride and never ever talks about cycling , sit ups or what the hell he had for breakfast. I like rider H.

Rider J: J is for Junior. This is the up and coming Tyke in town who is humble and just so happy to be encouraged by rider C.

Rider K: Mechanical dude. Will change your tire while your still sitting on your bike.

Rider L: The family man. Brings his wife and kids to every ride.

Rider M: Garage sale kit guy. never quite wears the current team kit all at once. Always has on parts.

Rider N: Unlike Rider M this guy wears the team kit and every optional piece 24 /7. He will show up with crap I didn't even know we made.

As you can see there is really no need to change teams because every team has one of these guys. Can you find your personality above?

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Top Ten Redlands Eats

Here's the deal I live in Redlands. No check that. I am Redlands. Really ? Why am I qualifying my relationship with the town I live in. I will tell you. I was bored at home checking Yelp and Trip advisor restaurant choices. These sites should be removed from the internet.

Seriously it's like going to Youporn to rent a Disney cartoon.

Anyhow I have a kitchen because it came with my home. I eat out a lot in town. I can tell you the rubes who ranked our towns restaurants on trip advisor are not townies.

So here are my personal food recommendations in Redlands. Let's call this Chopper's early Christmas gift to all my readers.

1. Tartan , on Fridays only. The Cod with the cheesy potatoes. Rum and Coke or Gin and Tonics.

2. Benjarong , Orange Chicken and anything with the word Pad in the title. Sit on the patio. Happy hour. Correction the IPad is not as tasty here as I thought.

3. The Artisan Farm , Wine tasting on Fridays 4-6 Wilson sommelier. Eye candy for the ladies.

4. Eureka Burger , call me crazy but I love the mucho gusto taco salad. Sit at the bar the view is great.

5. McDuffs , McDuffs Scramble

6. Las Brasas , the # 3

7. Gourmet Pizza. " the Brando" " the wild Mayan " any pizza with cashews.

8. Burger Town USA , Steak sandwich , BLT, Zucchini and of course the burger special.

9. Romanos , The Fire in the hole deep dish pizza or the Chicago fire dogs make it two.

10. My honorary out of town Sushi choice Miyagi in San Bernardino. All you can eat 24.95. The best hands down Sushi on the planet including Tokyo , San Francisco and Honolulu. I don't care what shit hole part of SB this place resides or what grade is in the window or what dead hooker is on the hood of your car when you get out. It's the best period.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Wednesday Wednesday Wednesday

The Unofficial Team Redlands Blog would like to invite you all to a new and exciting ride. This is a new ride to the local landscape. Last night was the last of the test rides and next week will be the kick-off to the Winter Wonderland Wednesday night ride.

The ride leaves Stell's at 6:30 pm every Wednesday night. All riders will need a front and rear light. Scott Welsh has designed a winter pace and course to suit the season. All riders are welcome.

I rode last night and can honestly say It was fun to ride in the dark and additionally we talked about everyone who was not on the ride. It was fun and I hope you can all join us next Wednesday or we will talk about you.