Shit Cyclists Say

Are you a crime fighter ?

I know its an Olympic year but am I missing something. This last Saturday I was taking inventory of the Team Redlands rank and file. To my surprise most everyone was sporting the new 4 way Lycra wind cutting ab hugging top.

As a man approaching middle age but still sexually active without the assistance of Merck I have chosen another path for my training needs. The club fit. The club fit allows the rider the comfort and breathable of the team jersey without the crime fighting aerodynamic properties only required for batman or superman.

Don't get me wrong I have a 4 way stretch top hanging under glass in my hall way just in case i decided to drive 4 hours in a car to ride in a circle in a industrial park with 100 guys who want to kill me. until then I am the guy with the club fit top and maybe a pair of cut offs.

A web site I would join

Damn Redlands cyclists !

As an act of goodwill Team Redlands riders were asked to pitch in and help offset the fines levied during operation “spandex ".

Over the last few months an increase in complaints regarding the rich folk from Redlands riding their $5,000 bikes up and down the streets of Riverside had reached epidemic proportions.

One woman living on Fillmore street had commented that her never ending garage sale had seen a decrease in sales because passer by motorists were forced to slow down and wait 8 seconds for a group of riders to pass.

Another motorist noted. What the hell is this county coming to? Bands of people getting together to exercise and cause my family to sit at a four way intersection and be delayed for our Saturday morning all you can eat IHOP feast. This is ridiculous !

The complaints were endless so something had to be done to return Riverside to the mecca of safety and family one thinks of when they hear the name Riverside. If I lived in Riverside I would sleep better knowing the renegade cyclists from Redlands are back in orange.