Team Redlands

Damn Redlands cyclists !

2012-02-06T08:53:00.002-08:00

As an act of goodwill Team Redlands riders were asked to pitch in and help offset the fines levied during operation “spandex ".

Over the last few months an increase in complaints regarding the rich folk from Redlands riding their $5,000 bikes up and down the streets of Riverside had reached epidemic proportions.

One woman living on Fillmore street had commented that her never ending garage sale had seen a decrease in sales because passer by motorists were forced to slow down and wait 8 seconds for a group of riders to pass.

Another motorist noted. What the hell is this county coming to? Bands of people getting together to exercise and cause my family to sit at a four way intersection and be delayed for our Saturday morning all you can eat IHOP feast. This is ridiculous !

The complaints were endless so something had to be done to return Riverside to the mecca of safety and family one thinks of when they hear the name Riverside. If I lived in Riverside I would sleep better knowing the renegade cyclists from Redlands are back in orange.

Kit review

2012-01-30T09:50:00.000-08:00

I was waiting to write my kit review until summer. the reason was simple I really wanted to put the new kits through the 4 seasons of So Cal and give an honest assessment of how she handles all situations.

No need to wait any longer as of Sunday the kit has seen 28 degree mornings, a rainy ocean spray, a trip to Oak Glenn and unexpectedly a boat ride on greenspot road.

I will limit my review to one area of the kit and let you draw your conclusions from that one key component. No not shammy size, not UV protection on the quads, not the 4way stretch fabric and not the misspelling of Redlands. Ha made you look.

The Sock. Yes the sock. For the first time in what has to be over 5 years the Team Redlands kit has a sock. But not just any sock. A sock that is not an anklet and for the love of God not a freaking BRO sock. It is a classic white sock with a simple red band that says Redlands. The sock lands on that perfect part on the leg. Mid calf. That is wear God intended your sock to land.

Thank you JL Velo for my socks. hopefully now I will not have to look at a BRO sock anywhere but LA fitness when the Yuciapa wannabe Villopto BRO take over the free weight room.

New Kits score a solid B.

Camp Chopper in the books

2012-01-24T20:50:00.001-08:00

Last year I got the idea of putting on a winter cycling camp. The idea was to create a destination camp similar to the ones the pros ride each winter in preparation for race season.

This last weekend Camp Chopper went off without a hitch. The roads around the Paso Robles area delivered killer rides as promised. The group of 25 got in 235 miles over the 4 days.

The first ride was an acclimation to Paso 35 miler. The ride took in the hills of Peachy Canyon, Vineyard and Lake Nacimento Road. That ride was followed by a private tasting at Mitchella and a welcome dinner at Berry Hill Bistro for 30.

On Friday we headed out towards the coast. A 75 mile loop that featured the climb up Old River road from Cayucos. This was the only day we saw rain. The ride was fully supported by Honey Stinger and Victoria. Team masseuse was available upon our return and one more private tasting for the campers at Adelaida.

Saturday morning started like the others with the wicked good free breakfast at LaQuinta. Fuel was on everyone mind as the Grand Chopper loomed. A 90 mile ride that included the climb up Santa Rosa Creek Road. Amgen tour of Cal had to remove this climb from last years race. We made the climb our bitch. Back at the hotel we were hooked up with Domino's from Vic and Free beer from Trek.

On Sunday we concluded with a recovery 35 miler featuring the east side rollers of Paso. The rest of the Camp Chopper family members joined us for the ride. The crew rolled back in and the first inaugural Camp Chopper was in the books.

Paso delivered on all fronts. The routes, miles, climbs, support, weather, hotel, meals, wine, scenery and killer swag. Thanks to all sponsors, wineries and riders who contributed to Camp Chopper.

Camp ready to open !

2012-01-18T14:19:00.000-08:00

Lost art of the group ride

2012-01-17T10:18:00.000-08:00

Written by Peter Wilborn on September 1, 2011

Every so often, I’ll ride a recreational group ride. I love the comraderie of cyclists, the talk, the last minute pumps of air, the clicking in, and the easy drifting out as a peloton. “I miss riding in a group,” I’ll think to myself.

The magic ends by mile 10. The group will surge, gap, and separate, only to regroup at every stop sign. I’ll hear fifteen repeated screams of “HOLE!” for every minor road imperfection. And then no mention of the actual hole. Some guy in front will set a PR for his 30 second pull. Wheels overlap, brakes are tapped, and some guy in the back will go across the yellow line and speed past the peloton for no apparent reason. A breakaway?!

I curse under my breath, remembering why I always ride with only a few friends. Doesn’t anyone else realize how dangerous this ride is? How bad it is for our reputation on the road? There are clear rules of ride etiquette, safety, and common sense. Does anyone here know the rules? Who is in charge?

But no one is in charge, and the chaotic group has no idea of how to ride together. As a bike lawyer, I get the complaints from irritated drivers, concerned police, controversy-seeking journalists, and injured cyclists. It needs to get better, but the obstacles are real:

First, everyone is an expert these days. The internet and a power meter do not replace 50,000 miles of experience, but try telling that to a fit forty year-old, new to cycling, on a $5000 bike. Or, god forbid, a triathlete. No one wants to be told what to do.

Second, the more experienced riders just want to drop the others and not be bothered. It is all about the workout, the ego boost, or riding with a subset of friends. But a group ride is neither a race nor cycling Darwinism. As riders get better, they seek to distinguish themselves by riding faster on more trendy bikes; but as riders get better they need to realize two things: 1) there is always someone faster, and 2) they have obligations as leaders. Cycling is not a never ending ladder, each step aspiring upwards, casting aspersions down. It is a club, and we should want to expand and improve our membership.

Third, different rides are advertised by average speed, but speed is only one part of the equation. This approach makes speed the sole metric for judging a cyclist, and creates the false impression that a fit rider is a good one. Almost anyone can be somewhat fast on a bike, but few learn to be elegant, graceful cyclists.

Fourth, riding a bike well requires technique training. Good swimmers, for example, constantly work on form and drills; so should cyclists. Anyone remember the C.O.N.I. Manual or Eddie Borysewich’s book? They are out-of-print, but their traditional approach to bike technique should not be lost. More emphasis was given on fluid pedaling and bike handling.

Before the internet, before custom bikes, and before Lance, it was done better. Learning to ride was an apprenticeship. The goal was to become a member of the peloton, not merely a guy who is sort of fast on a bike. Membership was the point, not to be the local Cat. 5 champ. You were invited to go on group ride if you showed a interest and a willingness to learn. You were uninvited if you did not. You learned the skills from directly from the leader, who took an interest in riding next to you on your first rides (and not next to his friends, like better riders do today). Here is some of what you learned:

To ride for months each year in the small ring.
To take your cycling shorts off immediately after a ride.
To start with a humble bike, probably used.
To pull without surging.
To run rotating pace line drills and flick others through.
To form an echelon.
To ride through the top of a climb.
To hold your line in a corner.
To stand up smoothly and not throw your bike back.
To give the person ahead of you on a climb a little more room to stand up.
To respect the yellow line rule.
To point out significant road problems.
To brake less, especially in a pace line.
To follow the wheel in front and not overlap.

The ride leader and his lieutentants were serious about their roles, because the safety of the group depended on you, the weakest link. If you did not follow the rules, you were chastised. Harshly. If you did, you became a member of something spectacular. The Peloton.

You thought Team Redlands was to big ?

2012-01-12T06:42:00.000-08:00

New Kits are done !

2012-01-04T17:03:00.000-08:00

The New Team Redlands kits are finished and going to be distributed this Saturday at Cyclery USA in Redlands. I know there must be a VIP room or a special preview way of getting my kit ahead of the rank and file members but as of tonight I have not received that e-mail.

In anticipation of the New Kits I have purchased the rights to a few slogans and web site domains. We all remember to well that first ride in last seasons kit. Light the Taco can still be heard at my house on trainer day.

I ate it on the light the Taco hats, t-shirts and beer steins when Castelli gave us all free replacement bibs. Damn excellent customer service. I cant get Sears to replace a defective lint screen but chamois have a lifetime warranty ?

Anyhow good luck to the new company. I call em as I see um or as they feel. Lets hope we don't hear any new rally cries this year. Flame the Chili, Wheres the Beef or Who's your daddy sites were all taken.

Happy New Year

2012-01-01T10:28:00.000-08:00

Last night was New Years Eve. The choices of parties were endless. Anyone who really knows me knows that New Years is the one day I abstain from drinking.

I don't go to the River for Memorial day I don't shop on black Friday and I don't drink with weekend warriors. I love being around drunks they are either telling you how much they love you or hate you , either proposition a very scary one.

This year I turn Hawaii 50. So lets get that out their right now this year is a tribute to my 50 years on Planet earth. If you are lucky enough to receive a invitation to the 50Th year festivities your not going to want to dodge this one like you did the Camp Chopper invite.

I neglected to do a year in review because nobody needs a recap of the Red Sox September. I don't have a dog , I don't have a kid, I have the Red Sox. Enough said.

The blog will continue for one more year thanks to a last minute sponsorship and the First Amendment to the Constitution. Happy New Year now stop reading and loose some weight you fat asses.

Merry Christmas

2011-12-25T11:11:00.001-08:00

Merry Christmas World,

I hope that you are all surrounded by friends and family today. Because that's really what Christmas is all about.

Years ago I enjoyed the holidays like everyone else. My parents had the house that was always filled with people. Sisters, brother,dogs and kids and significant others. and of course that guy who never had his own family at Christmas. We opened our home to everyone.

Christmas and Moms have always gone together. When my mother passed away in 2003. I knew many things would never be the same. When my sister died 82 days later I was sure of it. Within a year we sold the family home and move dad to live at Del Boca Vista.

Life can change that fast. One day your arguing over who gets to play Santa on Christmas day and with the blink of an eye your visiting your dad in the home by yourself on Christmas morning. Wow how did I get here ?

I am not bitter , I swear. But you probably don't want to be around when the laughing stops.

I am thankful for all the memories Christmas gave me. I am thankful for my friends and especially thankful for Victoria.

Merry Christmas from the unofficial Team Redlands blog and Chopper. Enjoy the day , your friends and family and for the love of God don't shoot our eye out !

The Grand Chopper

2011-12-22T07:39:00.000-08:00

The Grand Chopper ride map and description are now available on the Camp Chopper web site. Please visit the site to read about the most epic ride on the west coast this year. Wicked Hahd does not accurately describe the ride and Chris Horner continues to dodge my offer to join us.

To see the ride everyone is talking about visit To visit the site go to http://www.campchopper.blogspot.com/

It's the Freaking Catalina Wine Mixer !!!

2011-12-18T10:29:00.000-08:00

The Camp Chopper blog site updates continue. The Thursday and Friday rides have been posted on the Camp Chopper blog.

Here are the latest updates:

The sponsor support continues to exceed expectations. Honey Stinger came through with event sponsorship, the hotel rate was beyond expectation. the wineries have donated wine, restaurants have opened their doors. Travel Paso and Paso Wine have all wanted to promote the camp. Who could have dreamt it.

The routes are longer and harder than originally thought. After loading the rides into Garmin connect I actually got physically ill and had some challenging urination. Luckily the Friday and Saturday rides are being supported by TDF trained "soigneurs". Thanks to our sponsors the vehicles are going to be fully stocked.

Yesterday I was reminded that not taking on a challenge or riding home from the coffee shop in fact brings into question ones manhood. Let me say again nobody will have his manhood questioned who rides Camp Chopper. Your attendance confirms it.

Camp Chopper Blog

2011-12-07T11:57:00.000-08:00

With just a few spots remaining and fewer days left. Camp Chopper unveils it's blog for the first annual winter cycling camp.

Please visit the Camp Chopper site often to keep abreast off all things Camp Chopper.

Ride maps will be posted soon. Including the much anticipated Saturday ride. " The Grand Chopper ".

To visit the site go to http://www.campchopper.blogspot.com/

Anger Managment

2011-12-06T08:36:00.001-08:00

Team Redlands invokes "Good Citizen" clause and asks Chopper to attend a Anger Management class before he returns to the Rain Cross ride.

Yesterday I began my first class and learned a lot !

Let me ask you. does your use of foul language create inappropriate and embarrassing situations for you and the people around you? Did you know this habit can be put under your control! Well wonder no more and learn to minimize the use of offensive words and expressions while enjoying a cleaner, more respectable ride.

The Ocean Sublime Series is made of exclusive downloads, composed of soothing ocean sounds from the Caribbean mixed with specific inaudible custom messages & words of wisdom from a top personal coach, motivation expert, registered and certified clinical hypnotherapist.

BMC was busy and unavailable.

Just listen to the course daily, and you can start seeing a significant difference within a matter of days!

I don't know If I am going to be ready by this Saturday but I am taking the steps necessary to be more sympathetic to my fellow cyclist. With the help of flipper and his ocean noises I should be getting better in no time.

Reward ?

2011-11-29T10:43:00.000-08:00

RULE # 1

2011-11-28T09:21:00.000-08:00

Its been a while since I read or wrote about the Rain Cross ride. Frankly the issues of said ride have been poured over at nausea. Anyone who rides this ride knows exactly what to expect when they show up for this Saturday ritual.

With the tweaking of the ride I did feel it was time to revisit some of the unwritten rules of the Rain Cross ride. these rules were agreed upon at the conference of riders held at the Mission Inn December 2006.

Rule:1 Running Red Lights. If said riders blow a light in an effort to gain an advantage said riders should look behind then to see what percentage of the group made the light. If 50 % of the group got split you need to soft pedal until the other group catches up.

Application of rule: If you were in that group that ran the light at the bottom of Filmore Saturday you are a bunch of pussies. Especially the ones who have been doing this long enough to keep riding ahead. Are you really that lame ? Even at the Tour de France when a group is impeded by unforeseeable circumstances the leading group does not take advantage. The only exception is Alberto Contador. He is a pussy also.

Rule:2 Shorting of the ride. This is a rider who for whatever reason is unable to do the entire ride such as go up a hill with an incline of more than 3% for 1 mile. So said rider takes a short cut then jumps back in.

Application of rule: Hey we all get sick , go on vacations , have a hangover or don't commit are life to this hobby and that's okay. But that does not allow you to poach the ride behind the leaders, chase 1 or chase 2. go to the back. This is a similar rule to getting popped at crit and for the love of god you are not eligible for the sprint. If you poach the ride and go for the sprint your are a pussy.

The moral of the rules: Don't be a pussy !!!

Every Team Has One

2011-11-17T10:30:00.000-08:00

Every year the local cycling scene has its movement of riders between teams. The decision is never made lightly and the ramifications of moving from one team to another are made with much hand wringing and contemplation with Friends, family and clergy. Am I kidding. Yep.

As a lifetime member of Team Redlands I can say the thought of changing teams has never crossed my mind. The reason is very simple. Every club cycling team is made up of the following guys. You can find the following personalities on every team, weather the team has 8, 80 or 180 members.

Rider A: Has the word crit in his e-mail address.

Rider B: Shammy sniffer.

Rider C: Uncle Rico. Yes thanks again for that riveting story about the Barstow RR of 1984.

Rider D: Triathlon dude with TT bike and Ironman tattoo.

Rider E: Bike dude, has a cross, mountain, beach, cruiser,TT, city bike in his garage.

Rider F: Chick rider who just wants to ride a bike without the other dudes trying to hump her leg.

Rider G: Birthday Party guy. Has never completed a entire group ride in his life because he always has to get home for another freaking birthday party.

Rider H: The real deal. The guy that can really ride and never ever talks about cycling , sit ups or what the hell he had for breakfast. I like rider H.

Rider J: J is for Junior. This is the up and coming Tyke in town who is humble and just so happy to be encouraged by rider C.

Rider K: Mechanical dude. Will change your tire while your still sitting on your bike.

Rider L: The family man. Brings his wife and kids to every ride.

Rider M: Garage sale kit guy. never quite wears the current team kit all at once. Always has on parts.

Rider N: Unlike Rider M this guy wears the team kit and every optional piece 24 /7. He will show up with crap I didn't even know we made.

As you can see there is really no need to change teams because every team has one of these guys. Can you find your personality above?

Top Ten Redlands Eats

2011-11-12T17:16:00.000-08:00

Here's the deal I live in Redlands. No check that. I am Redlands. Really ? Why am I qualifying my relationship with the town I live in. I will tell you. I was bored at home checking Yelp and Trip advisor restaurant choices. These sites should be removed from the internet.

Seriously it's like going to Youporn to rent a Disney cartoon.

Anyhow I have a kitchen because it came with my home. I eat out a lot in town. I can tell you the rubes who ranked our towns restaurants on trip advisor are not townies.

So here are my personal food recommendations in Redlands. Let's call this Chopper's early Christmas gift to all my readers.

1. Tartan , on Fridays only. The Cod with the cheesy potatoes. Rum and Coke or Gin and Tonics.

2. Benjarong , Orange Chicken and anything with the word Pad in the title. Sit on the patio. Happy hour. Correction the IPad is not as tasty here as I thought.

3. The Artisan Farm , Wine tasting on Fridays 4-6 Wilson sommelier. Eye candy for the ladies.

4. Eureka Burger , call me crazy but I love the mucho gusto taco salad. Sit at the bar the view is great.

5. McDuffs , McDuffs Scramble

6. Las Brasas , the # 3

7. Gourmet Pizza. " the Brando" " the wild Mayan " any pizza with cashews.

8. Burger Town USA , Steak sandwich , BLT, Zucchini and of course the burger special.

9. Romanos , The Fire in the hole deep dish pizza or the Chicago fire dogs make it two.

10. My honorary out of town Sushi choice Miyagi in San Bernardino. All you can eat 24.95. The best hands down Sushi on the planet including Tokyo , San Francisco and Honolulu. I don't care what shit hole part of SB this place resides or what grade is in the window or what dead hooker is on the hood of your car when you get out. It's the best period.

Wednesday Wednesday Wednesday

2011-11-03T14:09:00.000-07:00

The Unofficial Team Redlands Blog would like to invite you all to a new and exciting ride. This is a new ride to the local landscape. Last night was the last of the test rides and next week will be the kick-off to the Winter Wonderland Wednesday night ride.

The ride leaves Stell's at 6:30 pm every Wednesday night. All riders will need a front and rear light. Scott Welsh has designed a winter pace and course to suit the season. All riders are welcome.

I rode last night and can honestly say It was fun to ride in the dark and additionally we talked about everyone who was not on the ride. It was fun and I hope you can all join us next Wednesday or we will talk about you.

Camp Chopper Q and A

2011-10-25T08:19:00.000-07:00

Here is an excerpt from a Q and A session with the director of Camp Chopper taken from Belgium Velo weekly.

Q. Chopper why a Winter cycling Camp ?
A. This Camp is dedicated to the 40 year old man in all of us who loves to cycle and JT.

Q. But why a Camp ?
A. For years I have put in a Winter base that my buddies can only dream about. Now I am sharing the gift.

Q. Are ladies welcome ?
A. Bringing a date to Camp Chopper is like bringing a deer carcass to a hunting trip.

Q. Will you have mechanical assistance and SAG ?
A. If Andy Hayton rides the Camp we will have special 80mm tubes available. Because god knows he only got the one set that came with the rims.

Q. Will Craig yell at me ?
A. Yep !

Q. The Camp is in Paso Robles. Is the city aware of this ?
A. Yes the city has put on extra Zinfandel shift during this weeks crush.

Q. Is it going to be Cold and Rainy ?
A. Nope, the farmers Almanac is calling for dry weather that week.

Were those panties ?

2011-10-21T08:26:00.001-07:00

If you ride your bike long enough in this town you know the guys who think they are a big deal and the guys who are the real deal. This week I got out with the Real Deal. Big E.

All jokes aside I now know what its like to have panties thrown from a moving vehicle at me while riding. All this whilst still sporting one of the hairier legs in the peloton. The ladies love Big E.

Big E is the guy who brought mountain biking to this town Sorry, Freeman. He is the reason Johnson works for Trek. He gave and took away the term Fred to JT. Big E is the reason we have black in our cycling kits.

Big E kinda a big deal in town and he has the panties to prove it.

Camp Chopper RSVP

2011-10-18T07:17:00.000-07:00

The Camp Chopper attendee list grows each day. Not a day goes bye that someone doesn't ask me . Hey, who else is going to Camp Chopper besides me.

To be honest deciding who to invite to Camp Chopper was as painful process. I only have so many spaces and I was looking for that right mix. Kinda like throwing a party or wedding invitations. Maybe that's why I don't throw parties anymore or ....

Due to the privacy act and HIPA. I am unable to share the list of attendees who have RSVP to Camp Chopper. I can tell you that we did have someone try to RSVP thru a TEXT message. We have weened him out and he will not be attending.

We have a Market Night ?

2011-10-14T08:19:00.001-07:00

It's October and the baseball playoffs are in full swing. Its all anyone can talk about out on the bikes. The baseball playoffs and week six of the NFL. Can you really believe the Detroit Lions are 5-0 !

Ha, that was funny. But did you know that I had to leave work early when the Sox were eliminated from the Wild card race. I became physically Ill and still cant watch TV.

But seriously it got me thinking about all the things that other people do in our little town that you may not know about.

Did you know that Redlands has a Market Night on Thursdays. while you are racing CRIT practice in a industrial park and losing half your skin. You could be eating a Gyro buying some flowers and being hassled by some religious nuts on State street.

In Oak Glenn they have Apples you can pick, eat, and buy. You can feed a Llama a nut. Its not just a place to ride your bike over. People actually go there from Los Angeles and spend the day!

In Yuciapa a city famous for the amount of glass on the streets and the backward people who live there occupied by Seniors who can only drive in the city. What the F. They have a Pumpkin Patch and A & W Root beer stand.

Instead of taking your brand new with the tags still on it Cyclecross bike to Ford Park. remember you could be playing Frisbee Golf with Wilhem instead. Fore !

And finally if you want to toughen up for next season. because you are a sensitive little flower on the bike. You need to head to Stingers the official home of the 909 Pittsburgh Steeler bar. I guarantee you will never take shit from anyone wearing Spandex and Shaved legs ever again.

Why I don't mountain bike reason # 2

2011-10-11T08:04:00.000-07:00

Matt Freeman was out of town Mountain biking this weekend ?

Rewind Saturday for yo pleasure

2011-10-08T11:36:00.000-07:00

Yes I wear sunscreen !

2011-10-06T09:14:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my annual trip to have more poor parenting removed from my face. "Yep let's just lather up our boy in Baby Oil and sit him by the lake."

If that area looks suspiciously close to the one 3 years ago it is. But as I found out 3 years ago I can use this stuff to pick up on chicks.

As a Public service announcement I would be remiss if I did not once again remind all the readers of the blog to wear sunscreen before cycling outside (not your trainer). Nutrogena with Helioplex 45 should do the job.

A special thanks to JT for the swedish sponge bath this morning. I have never been that clean in my life.

What is 174 divided by 12

2011-10-03T08:01:00.000-07:00

In the movie Animal House there is great scene when Lonnie and Kent Dorfman are trying to get into the cool fraternity. They are continually redirected to Meet Mohammed, Jugdish, Sydney and Clayton.

At Team Redlands we have the same basic 4 guys that show up to perform any volunteer requests. Lets just call them Mohammed , Jugdish , Sydney and Clayton.

Yesterday was the a classic example. Now that the Team has grown to 174 members strong you pretty much figure if you volunteer to help out your gonna be sent home because we have to many little helpers. Nope its still just Mohammed ,Jugdish, Sydney and Clayton.

I am proud to wear the label Mohammed , Jugdish , Sydney or Clayton.

Yes I want to die but the.....

2011-09-29T14:18:00.000-07:00

Name That Fit Contest

2011-09-26T10:51:00.000-07:00

Secret bike fit blue prints found behind Cyclery USA. The first reader who correctly names the rider who matches this fit wins a free Camp Chopper T Shirt.

Employees of Cyclery USA are not eligible or their families.

CrossFit Chicks

2011-09-23T09:19:00.000-07:00

Skills Clinics

2011-09-18T16:10:00.001-07:00

Okay enough blog posts about time shares, vacations and the Red Sox. Let's get this blog back to the real reason I started it. That being the business of the high end world of recreational cycling here in Redlands.

This week the heads of state proclaimed and end to the calamity that is the carnage during group ride. The "C" word to be exact.

Can we stop just one more crash with the skill building clinics? I hope so. Do the people who need them. know they need them? I am afraid not.

Just because you are well insured and made the jump between category racings at the local Crits does not mean you couldn't use a refresher. They make doctors take continuing education classes don't they? But hey it's not like you have someone else's life in your hands. Or wait maybe you do, mine.

The thing I love about the skills clinic is its all about the rank and file members of Team Redlands. Not just women or juniors but the 80 percent of the people who ride around town in the kit.

As summer winds down I really hope more of the 80 percent club shows up. Rumor on the street is you will need to check the skills clinic box on your next year’s application.

Be advised if you can't show you attended a clinic you will be required to ride the north side of San Bernardino with JT. Trust me you don't want that.

The Summer of Chopper is over !

2011-09-13T09:19:00.000-07:00

The sun has set on the summer of Chopper. Last week I concluded my last of the summer vacations with a trip to Maui.

Big Beach with a view of Molokini.

Waterfalls on the Road to Hana.

A Banyan tree on the hike to Waimoku falls.

Waimoku Falls

Black sand beach at Waianapanapa

Leche and Mai tai's at Aloha Mixed plate.

Oh and yes this is your last chance to ever rent the condo in Maui for $1,000 because after this year .......

No New Blog Posts until someone rents my condo !

2011-08-22T07:24:00.000-07:00

Want to make it up to the little women for all the time you spend on your bike? How about a 2nd honeymoon or a first honeymoon Matt? How about taking the kids? Your Friends Bob Ted and Alice? Go by yourself, but don't miss this amazing offer.

Chopper's 3 Bedroom, 2 full bath condo in Maui has just become available. The condo (One Napili Way) is located a few steps away from Napili bay pictured above. Napili bay is the best snorkeling in Maui. Napili is where the Gazebo serves Macadamia nut pancakes and big Kahuna omelet's each day. Across the street is the Kapalua golf course. Hello it's Maui !

The 3 bedroom unit usually rents for $2,520 per week. Act now and pick up any week of your choosing between now and Christmas for $1,000(thanksgiving week excluded). That's like 140 bucks per night.

Contact Chopper @ Gondola1@aol.com first come first serve

Camp Chopper pre ride

2011-08-15T08:33:00.000-07:00

The Camp Chopper pre ride took place this weekend. I have driven these roads many times but had yet to ride the routes on a bike. I can honestly say it was a real eye opener and I was able to tweak the routes for the upcoming camp.

The number one impression I took away from riding the hills around Paso. This must be the reason God invented cycling and It was probably the reason God invented mountain goats and sherpas.

The climbs are challenging and some of the roads seem to go up hill both ways if that's possible. The video was taken on one of the downhill sections so don't be fooled into thinking the rides are easy. That was the one moment I could hold my Iphone and ride.

On two separate days we will have climbs on Santa Rosa Rd and Old creek Road returning from the coast. Each of these climbs are epic. Santa Rosa Road was supposed to be used on ATOC. Camp Chopper will feature that climb at the end of the Saturday ride.

My final thoughts while on the bike were about the miles. The routes and roads are whicked tough. You cant measure the routes by miles alone. Miles are what 40 year old women training for their first marathon worry about. The rides at Camp Chopper ain't about the miles. you will find that out real quickly as I did this weekend.

365 more days !

2011-08-10T07:08:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday to Chopper. Chopper turns 49 today. That means 2 things. For me It means I am off to IHOP for my free Free Rooty Tooty Fresh 'N Fruity breakfast. In English, that means two eggs, 2 bacon strips, 2 sausage links, and two pancakes.

For you that means the countdown to 50 has begun. This will be a 365 day countdown to Choppers 50th birthday. During those 365 days I am going to preview and look back at all things Chopper.

Today is my day to be alone with corporate America on my birthday because their is really nothing more pathetic than going to IHOP to get you free birthday breakfast than doing it alone. Thanks IHOP and Denny's

Camp Chopper ride preview

2011-08-09T07:14:00.000-07:00

Paso-Coast 75

Find more Cycling Routes / Bike Rides in Paso Robles, CA

Here is a sample of day #2 at Camp Chopper. This will be the Thursday ride. You will laugh, you will cry and I hope we all stay dry.

The rides will all begin and end in Paso Robles. Camp Chopper now officially has a mechanic to support the riders. As you can see the rides don't go by your mommas house. Unless of course your mom lives in Cayucos.

Camp Chopper

2011-08-03T13:34:00.000-07:00

Camp Chopper actor used to look a lot better before Skin Cancer ! The only good thing about missing a chunk my face was how I was able to use my fake face to meet chicks.

Are you really trying to be the best at exercising ?

2011-07-31T20:05:00.000-07:00

I used to have a running group in town. One of these days I will devote an entire month of stories about that crew. The reason I mentioned them was we did have one rule while you're running 20 miles. nobody is allowed to talk about running.

Now I am am not saying Team Redlands needs to invoke such a rule about cycling. because God knows there is nothing more riveting than a good old fashion criterium race recap.

But here is the deal I am going to poke my ear drum out with a knife and then shank everyone within a 10 foot circle of death around me if I hear one more person talk about working out ! When in God's name did being the best at exercising become so fascinating. I used to avoid Market night due to the religious gauntlet but now its the fitness nut jobs.

For myself I continue to use the tried and true work out skills learned from the best. Susan Pounder, Tony Little, Richard Simmons, Chrissy from Three's company and 8 minute Abs. There ain't nothing the new kids have on these exercise Gurus. Trust me and put the check book away.

Now what ?

2011-07-25T07:51:00.000-07:00

The Tour De France is over. Your TV and life can now return to it's regularly scheduled programming.

I will miss the Tour De France, here are my final observations

1. Brothers should not be allowed to compete in the same race it's just too confusing for Alberto Contador.

2. Is the Gieco lizard an announcer for Versus. You never see Paul, Phil or him in the same room.

3. The polka dot chicks are always the best looking podium chicks.

4. Oak Glenn would probably look like Alp d'huez from a helicopter.

5. Johnny Hoogerland is the toughest MO FO on the planet.

6. Bike changes at the bottom of a climb are total BS.

7. America has lots of cycling teams. I am proud to be an American.

8. My driveway has been officially graded an HC climb in honor of the tour.

9. All RV's in Europe come in 3 colors. White, egg shell and off white.

10. Baseball is still the greatest game. Go RED SOX !!!!

The " C " Word

2011-07-18T07:20:00.000-07:00

Since this is a Blog devoted in name sake to the world of cycling I guess it's time to weigh in on the Tour De Crash this year.

Road cycling is really dangerous I get motion sickness just watching the coverage on TV. The guys who do this for a living crash a lot . They crash on open roads surrounded by Sunflowers. They crash when someone hands them a bag with a sandwich. They crash when a french film crew in a car hits them. They crash when a guy who gets hit by a car goes under their wheel and then they crash into a barbed wire fence.

I once watched a special on the NFL channel about a guy who played center for the Raiders. He cant get out of bed without the help of boy scouts. Does anyone know what the long term effect of getting hit by a car and having your body thrown into a barbed wire fence is ?

I don't like the " C " word it hurts lots of people. Stop using the " C " word versus.

5 years ago

2011-07-11T21:42:00.000-07:00

I have summer blogger writers block. Its happens to any good blogger. I blame the block on the Major league baseball all star break , Tour De France rest day , NFL lock out and no more naughty pictures of girls on bikes.

While searching my computer I came across these Ironman Switzerland pictures. Is it just me or was I leaner 5 years ago in my Triathlon days. Funny I don't remember being a good climber back then either.

HOP HOP CHOPPER!!

Hoosier Daddy 4th of July

2011-07-07T20:42:00.001-07:00

The evening before the fireworks mother nature provided her own electrical show. This was the view from the Unlce Tim's deck.

Uncle Tim's on the 4th. Hoosiers really get into the 4th of July. They talk lots about politics. drink union beer and have real strong feeling about Casey Anthony.

Everybody gets in there boats and watches the show from the water. Afterwards it's every Hoosier for himself back to the dock. Lucky for me uncle Tim has his own dock.

Where in the world is Chopper ?

2011-06-30T08:16:00.000-07:00

While the lure of racing the Ontario Criterium with a perry winkle WSD Trek and junior gears is tempting. I will opt for a trip out of town instead.

Where in the World is Chopper going....

Stay tuned for pictures and the Where in the world is Chopper give a way. Prize has no fair market value and the unofficial Blog has the right to substitute prizes.

PS: Blog gets 10,000 hit. Thanks Andrew !

Golf and Cycling

2011-06-24T16:39:00.000-07:00

The Summer of Chopper continued this week with a trip to the Marriott Desert Springs for golf. 90 holes of golf were on the menu. I wanted to take advantage of the good weather in the desert. If you can call 112 degree's good weather.

I have to say my golf kit is just a tad more comfortable than my cycling kit. Given the choice I will take a pair of golf shorts 24/7.

It's funny the guy's I golf with are exactly like the guy's I cycle with. They just golf or they just ride a bike that's it. Why is that? am I doing it wrong?

I do have one last question regarding the Desert ,golf and cycling. When the hell do the Palm Springs boys ride their bikes. At no time in the last 3 days could I have imagined for one second riding my bike in the desert. 112 Degree's is never a dry heat trust me.

Slappin the Bass

2011-06-20T07:40:00.000-07:00

This weekend was the official kick-off to the Summer of Chopper. Each summer I have one basic goal in mind. Go more places than the average reader of this blog and make you wish your life was as bitchin as mine.

This past weekend was a quick visit to San Diego or Whales Vagina based on your understanding of history. Rush was playing somewhere near the Mexico Border. With black concert T and really tight jeans I headed south to get Rushified and second hand smoke the Devils Lettuce.

If you can divert some of your funds away from a private session of ABS for the summer cyclist. I highly recommend you get in the car and drive to LA tonight or Vegas Friday for the last chance to see RUSH on tour. You may never have another chance because these guys are Canadian and really old. But on a serious note RUSH is the best band ever. No really ever.

For my 50 birtday I want to get drum lessons from Joey Marchiano so I can play like Neil Peart or Joey Marchiano.

My shoes smell like beer

2011-06-12T21:42:00.000-07:00

The Hangar 24 3rd Anniversary is in the books. I have to say if you told me that someone was going to have a party in a dirt field , serve cold beer , charge no cover and play free music and nobody got stabbed I would say this event must have taken place in 1960 Mayberry North Carolina.

The Hangar anniversary was a wicked good time and Team Redlands finest were there to keep the good times flowing. My shift was the 11-3 shift. I returned to my vehicle around 7:30 pm. After my afternoon break was over ( 3 Johnny tacos , 2 pieces of Gourmet pizza and some pulled pork from Mill creek) We all pitched in a poured the last drops of Orange wheat in the 909. After the mayor of Mentone took his last drink we unscrewed the taps for the night.

Our team went " sideways " on the orange bucket that collected the spillage of all the collective beers. It was no 28th place finish at the Ontario criterium but to me it was the finest moment Team Redlands has had this year.

Cheers to Ben Cook again for inventing Orange Wheat beer. otherwise I might be riding for a Team called Chico's bail bonds.

Hangar week continues

2011-06-08T08:29:00.000-07:00

3rd Anniversary coming !

2011-06-03T08:03:00.000-07:00

Team Redlands sponsor Hangar 24 Craft Brewery will celebrate it's 3rd Anniversary. The event will be held at the brewery beginning at 12 PM June 11th. There will be at least 20 Hangar 24 Craft Beers pouring. As always one of those beers will be a super secret Anniversary Ale.

Local food will be provided by Gourmet Pizza Shoppe, Johnny’s Tacos and Sports and Romano's Italian Restaurant. The local music will be provided by Kelly McGuire and one other Band to be determined. Guided Tours, Growler Sales and Fills will be available.

In honor of the Hangar anniversary I have created a movie that was nominated for best animated short film that 1/2 of the movie was filmed in Mentone.

Another day and no card ?

2011-06-01T08:31:00.000-07:00

Last year at work we started a Sunshine Fund. The basic premise of the club is that people you truly hate (co-workers) want to celebrate all of life's joys at the work place.

Events such as your birthday at the work place. a baby shower or a work place injury are just a few examples of when the Sunshine Fund kicks in. They pass a card around to help buoy fellow co-workers spirits and in no time your nasty paper cut or some toner in your eye don't seem to hurt as much.

Recently at Team Redlands we have seen a rash of crashes, falls and injuries. Lets face it we have all been on the ground at one point in our cycling career. Days and weeks go bye and no card, no phone call and no Vermont teddy bear.

I can speak for myself and nothing moved me as much as the time I hit that porta potty and broke 3 ribs and JT sent me a bouquet made up of edible fruit.

So in keeping with the sense of family that people like JT have always embraced let's get the Sunshine fund up and running. Nobody wants to hit a porta potty but it's good to know a Hallmark card will take the stink away.

WICAM night to remember

2011-05-29T08:26:00.000-07:00

The WICAM night to remember was held last night at the Hooters of Orange county. Hooters long known for family values and good food was the perfect fit. The WICAM night to remember was one last chance to showcase Women who cycle and the women who don't. Because remember God didn't just put us on this earth to be the best at exercising.

Hooters and WICAM a partnership for the future and beyond.

I found a use for the spare bedroom

2011-05-27T07:56:00.000-07:00

WICAM Roll Out

2011-05-26T06:22:00.000-07:00

WICAM Roll out tonight at CRIT practice. In a show of unity for WICAM and in an effort to put the events of last week behind us A WICAM roll out has been requested of all women riders tonight.

In a related story all CRIT riders pooped out the back who are attempting to re-enter CRIT. please remember that all CRIT re-entry must be performed at the start/finish area on Marygold avenue. Anyone attempting to sling shot into to the group on turn 2 will face a 3 month ban from CRIT. That is not to be confused with a one year or lifetime ban for rear entry.

Top Down

2011-05-24T07:23:00.000-07:00

Have you ever asked yourself what is the most important cycling invention of our time? Was it the introduction of space age materials to bike design , aero bars to the race of truth or white bar tape.

Actually the answer may be easier than you think. The bib short was introduced in 1998 by Michael Coors. The initial design was a women's cycling kit that would allow the rider the option to remove the top on a warm day or a ride through Forest Falls.

Many of today's women due to pressure from Cable TV simply forget the option still exists to " ride with the top down ". WICAM encourages all women to return to the original design concept of the 90's and ride top down.

Back to our regularly scheduled programming

2011-05-22T19:19:00.000-07:00

Earlier this month Team Redlands held it's annual Women's cycling skills clinic. I have a pretty keen eye for talent and can usually spot a rider who has NOT attended the skills clinic.

Here you can see the result of a poorly fitting Kit. Improperly sized bike and lack of understanding regarding the directional air flow of the carbon fiber frame. Lastly you rarely see the reverse cow girl on a bike.

CRIT RIOT !!!

2011-05-20T07:32:00.000-07:00

For the longest time I have joked that I did not know what " CRIT" meant. I just figured one day I would figure it out through osmosis or the Urban dictionary. Last night I found out was CRIT was short for.

Lucky for us one of the factory's on Marigold avenue had there surveillance camera running. The footage is raw and not in english but anyone that was there can tell you the screaming was not in any language that resembled english.

A one year ban was handed out to the unknown rider of unknown origin from unknown parts. He is eligible to return next year May 20,2012. To be reinstated he must perform the following tasks:

1. Bake cookies for everyone at crit.
2. Provide a letter from the Bob Knight anger management school.
3. Wear an Orange vest.
4. Submit his name to the County for tracking data base.
5. Help JT with his lawn.
6. Get a hello kitty tattoo on his calf from Kayle.
7. Keep Pat's Pot's clean at next years Redlands Bike classic.
8. Limit cycling to Nintendo.
9. Sweep the entire course with your tooth brush.
10. Must beat the Redlands rider of my choosing on a one lap loser leave town race.

WICAM ride to work day

2011-05-18T07:29:00.000-07:00

WICAM would like to remind everyone that today is national bike to work day. Leave your gas guzzling Nissan Leaf in the garage and ride your bike today.

Ride your bike to work day should not be confused with ride your TT bike at Crit day. That's tommorow.

Postal service announces WICAM stamp

2011-05-16T12:40:00.001-07:00

The Postal service in an attempt to fill the void left by the Postal Service cycling team has launched the new WICAM stamp.

The stamp was will provide the embodiment of the female figure and cycling. The stamp will available until May 31st in honor of WICAM.

Women's Clinic Today !!

2011-05-14T08:33:00.000-07:00

I really can't say what came first the Women's Clinic or WICAM. Okay lets face it WICAM is the reason we have a Team Redlands merger. WICAM is the reason we have spandex. So WICAM can probably be traced to the origins of the Women's cycling clinic.

WICAM has offered a photo shoot to the young lady that wins tomorrow's Ontario crit as a race incentive.

Today the young lady's are receiving valuable learning tools to handle the high end world of road cycling. As we have all learned from riding with JT there are many unwritten rules that cant be mastered by osmosis.

The unofficial blog sends its congratulation's to all the girl's. We hope they all earn their cycling merit badges and wish them all well at tonight's Snipe hunt.

PS: I hear any girl who can change a rear flat in 3 minutes gets to return as a instructor next year and stay at Choppers house for the weekend.

Google and Team Redlands

2011-05-09T09:18:00.000-07:00

Once a month I check the Team Redlands Google results. I like to see how the unofficial blog stacks up against other community interests with the name Team Redlands in the title.

Last month the Unofficial blog was once again listed first ahead of such things as the Classic , a swim team , something soccer related and of course of the Official Team Redlands.com site.

It appears that more traffic may have been generated by a Redlands daily facts article that guided readers to the Unofficial blog as link for local cycling. Velo news watch out. Now I am not an english major but are the words "VERY UNOFFICIAL" really not clear enough ?

Happy MILCW

2011-05-08T11:54:00.000-07:00

WICAM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2011-05-03T07:28:00.000-07:00

Let the games begin. Women in cycling appreciation month (WICAM)has officially begun. In honor of the event Cyclery USA has put on two guest mechanics for the month.

To make sure your bikes are tuned and in working order. Ashley and Kit Kat will be available in the shop for the month of May. John encourages you all to make an appointment but reminds you that walk in are always welcome especially if you ride for Team Redlands and think you are a big deal.

USA USA USA

2011-05-02T07:12:00.000-07:00

It always happens in 3 feet of water

2011-04-27T08:30:00.000-07:00

Just when Kasey thought it was safe to go back in the water. This is a warning to all readers of this blog. WICAM is coming and it's coming fast. If you need to change the parental controls on your home computer this might be a good time.

On a similar note I can't help but think that a cyber attack upon team redlands was actually meant for the unofficial blog. WICAM and it's promotion of women in cycling appeared to be in direct contrast to that organizations focus.

Spring cleaning sweep Go Sox !

2011-04-25T07:48:00.001-07:00

The weekend in Anaheim went off without a hitch. No fights in the bathroom, no fights in the parking lot and only one fight in the stands. That fight was over a foul ball. Angel fans down the right field foul pole think you should throw back a foul ball hit by a Red Sox player. The Red Sox swept all 4 games in Anaheim. Suck it Angel fan.

A quick note to all Angel fans:

- No one who roots for Boston considers you a rival team.
- Anaheim Stadium is not Wrigley Field.
- A Rally Monkey is a toy you were duped into buying not a tool to score more runs.
- A stadium you drive to sucks. Sitting in a $15 parking lot traffic jam is lame.
- Sushi is not stadium food.
- Changing your name to Los Angeles is not really accurate. Why not Garden Grove ?

Good luck the rest of the season Angel fan its always nice when we get to spank the rally monkey in the playoffs.

Go Sox !!!!!

2011-04-21T08:55:00.000-07:00

It's that time of year again. No, not Devils Punchbowl. I told you I did not leave any valuables there and I did not meet any local pear blossom girls . So there is no reason for me to drive on that road to hell ever again. whew!

Tonight my beloved Boston Red Sox begin a four game series against the Angels. The last time I was seen in the stadium I was asked by Angel fan where I was going. I said I was gonna watch the rest of the game at his mothers house.

On the heels of the Dodger stadium attack I must admit I am a little nervous about going to Angel stadium in my Pedroia jersey. I have been training and really feel like I can take a family of four and their little plush Rally Monkey's.

Tonight I will be riding Crit with a rally monkey tied to a rope. Go Sox !!!

Big news coming soon !

2011-04-19T07:36:00.000-07:00

Are you reading this blog and saying to yourself. Hey, I never got to attend a cycling skills building clinic. or Dang, I didn't get to go to the Juniors ankle bitters tactics camp at Epcot center.

Well, fret no more rank and file of Team Redlands because a sneak preview of a cycling camp is around the corner. That's right. A winter training camp is in the planning stages. Stay tuned blog for the dates and location of the camp.

Power rankings announced

2011-04-14T21:43:00.000-07:00

The old Team Redlands power rankings were pretty easy. The list was made up of the four horsemen and 6 dudes who used to be kinda a big deal or I thought they would kick my ass if I left them off the list.

Now that Team Redlands has more member's than catholic fraternity house at Notre Dame my job just got a lot tougher. The too big to fail cycling team has lots of big hitters and cyclist who were traded from other teams for a rider to be named later.

Some of you may never get employee of the month, win a free burger at Red Robin or have a neighbor compliment you on your lawn and frankly I don't want this to add to your life of unfulfilled dreams.

Here is the list in alphabetical order.

Холодная гора
Южный вокзал
Центральный рынок
Andrew Sjogren
Советская
проспект Гагарина
Спортивная
Cynthia Sjogren
Завод им. Малышева
Московский проспект
им. Маршала Жукова
Советской Армии
Morgan Sjogren
Индустриальная
Тракторный завод
Пролетарская

Power Rankings coming soon !

2011-04-11T08:31:00.000-07:00

It's that time of year again. Time to update the Team Redlands power rankings. The power rankings were born right around the time the blog was introduced. WICAM can be traced to the power rankings.

Here is a brief explanation again of how the rankings are calculated. Let me try to explain the rankings by giving you an example of a fictitious Team Redlands rider.

Fred is an out of work self employed contractor. He is out of work because of the economy. He has 2 children but no religious affiliation. His wife has left him because he loved his bike more than her. He has a parent in a home in town but the caregiver does much of the work. He will drink at the Hangar if others are going. Fred only rides crit. I have never seen him at the Tuesday night worlds.

As you can see here no mention of Fred's cycling ability has been made. Outside factors really can give you +/- to your power rankings. Fred's power rankings would have been adjusted like this.

Work - 3, Fred has lots of time to train he should ride good. Not fair. Score would have been reduced -5. I gave him a break because of the economy.

Kids + 4, Fred get 2 points per kids. they are a time suck and a pain in the ass.

Religion 0, Fred is going to hell. why should he also loose power points.

Drinks +5, Fred drinks, I like Fred seriously you guys have no idea how hard it is to balance drinking and riding.

Wife - 5, Fred has no one to answer the question when will you be home from the ride. Fred can ride for ever !

Crit Scum - 10, Fred is CritScum he can only make his bike turn right on a flat surface. Fred watches Nascar.

Aging parent + 1, Fred is a good son for putting his dad in a home and not taking care of him.

The new Power Rankings will be released Thursday night. Please do not attempt to contact any official from the power ranking committee.

Home boy in SoCalCycling

2011-04-08T14:56:00.000-07:00

Andrew fresh of a his stint as podium boy eye candy makes cover of SoCalCyling. In keeping with the tradition of Team Redlands riders. Andrew SoJo is the latest to be featured on the SoCal web site. Or at least spotted in the upper corner of the picture.

Earlier that day Andrew did his part for the Redlands Bike Classic. JT had applied for the position but was passed over due to age restrictions. Andrew was selected because he has a closet with only black clothing. We are all going to pitch in a get Andrew some khakis and a yellow polo.

Bees, Flat's and Heat !

2011-04-06T09:33:00.000-07:00

Local girl and Team Redlands member Joy has written a race recap of her Redlands Classic experience. Here is a link to read about her time trials and tribulations of the weekend. I warn you it will make you laugh and cry. http://joyonbike.blogspot.com/

Finding your one thing

2011-04-05T08:30:00.000-07:00

I was thinking long and hard about the bike classic. I had lot's of takes about the four days. The guys who raced. The time I spent with the redlands classic volunteers. The usual suspects on the curbs. The usual drinkers at the VIP tent. The guys who never put a number on their kit. Twitter and winning. The guys who help out every year with registration. The town folk who support the classic. the town folk who don't. The weather. The kids races. The USA crits. Redlands is not Ontario, you just can't just show up and think you are gonna sit in. Getting old is not for pussies. Podium douche bags(not Andrew). How when dealing with volunteers the first word out of your mouth always needs to start with the words "thank you". What I learned about turning left on the crit course instead of the 4 right turns. That the Redlands crit course separates the posers from the racers and usually in 2 laps. The classic is a Redlands tradition. But most of all I learned that lots of guys I ride with still can't figure out what that one thing is.

Downtown Crit = Twitter

2011-04-02T22:04:00.000-07:00

I can some up today in one word. Twitter. Chopper was the guest host for today's downtown crit action. To see a recap of my duties simply log onto Twitter and search "redlandsclassic ".

I slipped in a few local boy references , hangar 24 and Monster Media. BMC , Craig and Norm continued to show well in the men's field. While Joy keeps living the dream in 63rd place.

Beaumont Road race today

2011-04-01T14:57:00.000-07:00

Prologue action from the classic today

2011-03-31T16:13:00.000-07:00

Before the TT Craig can be seen here warming up in the Monster Meida tent. Local kid Scotty Tickmeyer lends a hand with Craig's numbers. As you can see Scotty takes the his job seriously. Craig climbing the final leg of the course on Wabash. Many local Team Redlands riders were on hand to cheer him on in the 87 degree heat. Norman Carter seen here on the course ten minutes later also recieved cheers by friends and family and the dorks he knows on Team Redlands. Norm after the Prologue. When asked if he was affected by the 90 degree heat at start time responded are you wih the media ?

Local girl to race the Classic !

2011-03-30T08:26:00.000-07:00

Local girl to race in the classic. Yes , Team Redlands own Joy Duerksen will be putting her pony tail in race mode this weekend for the SC Velo-Empower Coaching team.

I did a little research on racer #326 and came up with the following facts. The above picture was taken at the boulevard road race in 2009. Apparently this was the first road race our little Joy had worn a pair of Bib shorts. The kit was borrowed from a Team Redlands rider.

I did the math that was not long ago and now she is in the Pro race. I am still a Cat 5.

Joy is a PE teacher at a private school. Can dunk a basketball, run a mile and lift 100 pounds over her head. Joy enjoys cooking with quinoa and couscous.

The Academy will be letting all children off early tomorrow to cheer on Joy. All kids attending the race will get an A in lieu of homework. I guess attending a bike race would be considered PE homework anyhow.

GO JOY !

This could be next years kit !

2011-03-27T15:16:00.000-07:00

Enjoy riding around town in your new kit ? Like being a part of a cycling team ? Guess what , the commitment that is being asked of you to look bitchin 365 days a year is to volunteer 2 hours.

The bike classic is our event to fulfill our commitment for having sanctioned status with USA Cycling. So unless you want to wear a pearl izumi kit with Sponge Bob on the front you need to volunteer. What is needed: TR needs volunteers for the USAC Crit On Sunday April 3rd.The tasks are: pre registration; same day registration; data input for officials; additional for help with forms.

They need 8 volunteers per 2 hour slot. Times: We will be there from 5:50am-3:30pm. The first 4 hours tend to be the busiest and we will need a full crew to run as smoothly as possible. 5:50-8am 8:00-10:00am 10:00-12:00pm 12:00-2:00pm 2:00-3:30pm

Contact: Please email Hector Sanchez with the time slot you will be available to assist. olekranon@msn.com

This has been a public service announcement on behalf of Team Redlands. This blog continues to operate outside the purview of Team Redlands and the first amendment.

Send me a postcard from Club Vandersexxx

2011-03-25T11:40:00.000-07:00

We held Scott's going away party last night at Hangar 24. Scott will once again be travelling to Europe for the Tour de Flanders next week. Its truly amazing the length people will go to to get out of Crit registration.

I promised Scott last year I was going to make this years trip. Apparently their is a little something called the Mann act that forbids me from taking a date across state lines let alone into a foreign country.

The Team Redlands unofficial blog will serve as the official place to receive updates regarding Scott's trip. We wish him well on the cobbles and remind him not to go any where near Berlin.

70% Chance of what ?

2011-03-21T09:12:00.000-07:00

In Southern California we have weather. What we don't have is an effective weather forecast. The Sunday races looked to be rained out by all estimates. 70% chance of rain around noon yesterday.

With that forecast in mind I made other plans that included drinking and debauchery and March Madness. I accepted the invitation to attend the twins birthday party. No, it was not a surprise party. Nobody is ever surprised that they were in fact born on the date on their drivers licence.

Apparently a 70 % chance of rain did not discourage others. Got me thinking what would you guys need a 70 % chance of to miss driving to Ontario ?

1. A 70% chance you were gonna get laid?
2. A 70% chance you were going to win the lottery?
3. A 70% chance your student loans to LLU you would paid off?
4. A 70% chance you could get a new Trek like Jeff drives.

Or a 70% chance that you could go with Chopper to the twins birthday party?

#257 and #258 and #182

2011-03-17T16:52:00.001-07:00

Local Boys join forces for the upcoming Redlands Bike classic. The rosters for the upcoming classic were announced today. As usual my request for a women's team was rebuffed with extreme prejudice.

I noticed that H & R block is sponsoring a cycling team. Here's a tip just ask them how to compute alternative minimum tax on a climb. That will cause more confusion to the field than a bike pump from a team Cinzano rider.

Good luck to all the TR boys in the field. Norm ,Craig and BMC. You can count on lot's of support from the locals. I will be the shammy sniffer in turn 5 with the removable tattoos.

Tuesday Night World Championships !

2011-03-15T06:21:00.001-07:00

That's right change your clocks and change your tires. Because it's here again a looser leave town winner take all Daylight savings Tuesday night world championship Smack down.

See The flying Lanza brothers attempt to control the front , JT Superfly Snooka take on the field. Captain Lou Miller. Craig the Body Turner. The bushwhacker's. Abel the snake Rendon ,Scott the Giant ,Matt the undertaker , Zack attack , Ortho Boy and Rowdy Roddy Lohman.

The Lady's card will feature such Riders as Joy Dirka Dirka Duerksen , Trish the Dish , Little Fuji and the battling red heads.

Note the event coordinator is free to substitute other riders , so bring a coke can bring a seven up can. we will sell you the whole seat but remember you will only use the front half for this Tuesday night smack down.

If you are unable to attend this event just remember this bloody thing happens every Tuesday night for the next 7 months.

WICAM (Save the date)

2011-03-08T20:25:00.000-08:00

The 3rd annual Women in cycling appreciation month has officially found it's new home. WICAM had been held in July for the last two years. A harshly worded e-mail written in french asked us to move WICAM from July. TDF officials felt the heat of the competing events and asked we find a new date.

This year's Women in cycling appreciation month will be held in May. Moving WICAM to May just made sense one local female rider noted. We have the road skills clinic that month it's a natural fit. Like a bikini made out of tires.

Events and details will be coming in the following weeks. This years WICAM celebration looks to be our biggest yet. But as one rider noted I hope I live to see the day WICAM becomes WICAY. That's what she said !

Thanks Charlie !

2011-03-05T12:05:00.000-08:00

In what appears to be a coincidence of #winning proportion I have pink eye. The pink eye started just hours after I started following Charlie Sheen on Twitter. Coincidence I think not.

I follow Tiger Woods , Lance , Barney Stinson and now Charlie Sheen. Role models are really hard to come bye.

I guess I am lucky I hear there is a scorching case of Herpes going around Face Book.

The Hail Mary

2011-02-28T06:35:00.000-08:00

Chopper made his usual late return to the high end world of local crit bike racing this weekend. The menu called for 2 races the 45+ and the 40 1-4. I would have raced more but I had to get back to Redlands. JT was hosting an Academy awards party.

It's kinda fun being the wild card at these races. Unless you can show 300 bucks in gas receipts nobody pays you any mind. I raced my bike in the 45+ and spent more than a few laps chasing turbo. I played the 80/20 rule racing my bike for the first 80 percent of the race. Yep I know the preferred method is to sit and wait for the last 20 percent. I need to work on that.

In the 40 1-4 I decided to go with a hail Mary on lap #1. Jumped with 3 other riders including one of the Scott's. The move got us up the road and the gap was 30 seconds. Early on we lost one of the 4 guys. Let's call him the smart one. I stayed a few more laps before being unhitched. I have replayed that moment a few times in my head since yesterday. We had 2 out 3 guys in a break. No excuses I suck. Scott stayed away from lap # 1 till the bell lap. Once reunited Team Redlands took lots of spots in the top 10. Lesson of the day. Never leave your wingman in a bar or in a break.

I just realized I wrote a race report from a race I was in. This is not the team redlands web site. What am I doing. Next week I will be doing a review of chamois creams for women cyclist.

5 Weeks till the classic !

2011-02-22T16:14:00.000-08:00

Hello Kitty , just got done visiting the new and improved Redlands bike classic web site. In the past the site has been on par with the Dunder Mifflin infinity site.

The new site had some nice pictures , ways to volunteer and a host housing application. The new site would not have been complete if their was not at least one link to a twitter account that has not been updated since Team Saturn was in the classic.

The real surprise was the visit to the USAC criteriums. This year the 35+ and Pro 1/2 will be raced on the PRO 1 mile loop course instead of the .65 crit course. That should make for a sweet day of crit racing. The crit of shame just became less shameful

Horner at the Hangar

2011-02-20T07:45:00.000-08:00

The Hangar continues to be the place to meet local celebrities. In the past 12 months Jude Law, Harry Reid and Cameron Crow have all been spotted drinking an Orange Wheat. Yesterday Team Radio Shack member Chris Horner made it our way.

Chris was in town because Cyclery USA sold more Treks than any other 5,000 square foot store in a town with under 32,000 residents. If the shop had sold just 6 more Power bars well I don't want to get ahead of myself.

Anyhow it was nice meeting Chris. He asked me why I listed him on our club rooster months ago. I explained that Team Redlands had made him an honorary team member for making the classic his bitch so many times and his 10Th place at the Tour De France wasn't to bad either.

Crazy Ivan's

2011-02-16T08:29:00.000-08:00

In the movie "The Hunt for Red October", a sharp turn made by a Russian submarine to look behind it with sonar. Is referred to as a Crazy Ivan.

By analogy, any quick, unexpected and radical change in direction, literally or metaphorically.

A few weeks ago on the Rain Cross ride I watched no less than 4 Crazy Ivan's. When will it stop, how many people have to die ? Why can't Team Redlands have a skills clinic for 40 year old men ?

Here is the deal. If you see someone on your left moving up and you think to your self hey this is my chance at some weekend warrior glory I will just pull my bike frantically to the left. Ask your self the following questions:

1. Am I the only person on Victoria ?
2. Is there a chance that someone else might be on that guys wheel already ?
3. When I drive my car on the highway do I just pull into the left lane without looking.
4. Am I Craig Turner ?

Are you starting to get the picture. Your not Craig Turner. You are a Russian Sub driver and you just pulled a Crazy Ivan. All Stop.

How many Strip clubs does this town have ?

2011-02-13T20:18:00.001-08:00

For as long as I can remember the pay-off to doing anything all day is eating afterwards. Whether that was running a marathon or riding 100 miles. The only way on gods green earth I would do either is to keep thinking about the food I am going to eat when I am done.

On Sunday after the Palm Springs century the call went out for lunch. Hey we are going to Las Casuleas. Are you going ? Yep, I would never turn down a chance to go to the most touristy lunch place in Palm Springs. But here is the real funny thing. Apparently there are two Las Casuelas in Palm Springs. The old Team Redlands guys all went to the one on South Palm Canyon while the Old Possibilities crew went to the one 4 blocks away.

We actually had our waitress send a virgin Margarita down to the other location. They had my waitress loose my order and I was stuck watching the rest of my party eat a chimichanga platter and a 5 pound chicken burrito. I talked to the manager later and explained to him that he needs to light a taco under his staff.

Get on your bikes and ride !

2011-02-11T07:09:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow some of the Team Redlands rank and file will be heading to Palm springs for the annual Tour De Palm Springs. The ride represents one last big base ride before the race season goes into full swing.

Yes readers I know some of you have already driven to East Jesus no where to ride in a 30 minute Criterium and probably still don't know who won the Super Bowl.

The Tour De Palm Springs begins at the IHOP and ends at Las Casuelas in downtown Palm Springs. The route is a scenic journey through the scrub and mesquite of the Mojave desert. The SAG stops feature Date Shakes and SPF 55 and a free shoulder massage.

See ya all at 6:45 when a Freddy Mercury impersonator will yell " get on your bikes and ride".

Light the Taco T-Shirt release date !

2011-02-07T07:15:00.000-08:00

Just like the release of the Verizon iphone this week. Team Redlands will be releasing the first 100 limited edition " Light the Taco" T-Shirts. The T-Shirts will sold on a first come first serve basis.

Imagine the attention you will grab as you " peacock " your way up to the sign in table at Ontario. Or wear it to Stell's on your off day while you are fake studying with the other LLU kids. For the right price Matt Freeman may even change his blog head shot to him wearing the T-shirt.

The T-shirts will only available at Cafe press. Junior and WICAM team members will receive a 20 % discount. Simply input discount code" hot sauce " at check out.

Light the Taco !

How big a Fish was it Grandpa ?

2011-02-04T08:13:00.000-08:00

I don't read many books and I only go to Barnes and Noble to meet chicks. I like to stand in the home repair section and act like I am reading a book on some type of home remodel. The trick is to make sure the book is upright.

But seriously am I the only one that doesn't know the difference between fiction and non-fiction. I noticed the sports related books are located in the middle of the store kinda between both of these sections.

The one exception were the books related to cycling. The Cycling books are easily Found between Harry Potter and Twilight. I really feel like they should move the books to the Horror section due to all the needles , syringes and tales of Swiss border guards.

Either way if you are looking for a good read this month. You still can't go wrong with anything written by a cyclist. You will need help finding the location of these books because in the end they really don't seem to have much to do with cycling. Kinda like this blog.

The Social Network

2011-02-01T07:09:00.000-08:00

I was asked recently to mention that you can now follow Team Redlands of Twitter. I was also asked to mention that you can follow Team Redlands on Face Book.

For those of you who stare at your iPhone all day here is the distinction between the two.

Twitter is an excellent way for you to receive timely updates about the goings on of Team Redlands.

Face Book is a disturbing way for you too see who the guys you ride with are " friends " with. Warning it can be very disturbing.

Either way the official Team Redlands media machine is going to be up and running on all fronts soon. By the year 2012 you should be able to simply close your eyes and know if JT is doing an easy sunset recovery ride or If Big E is having at beer at the Hangar. It will be great.

Just remember you can always get your Team Redlands information the good old fashion way god intended. A Blog written by a over caffeinated white guy who's eyes are blurry from watching porn and stock quotes all day on his computer.

Can I borrow a comb ?

2011-01-30T21:05:00.000-08:00

Today was the Team Redlands group photo day. The team rode to the various sponsor corporate headquarters around Redlands for team pictures. Hangar 24 brewery was the last stop for obvious reasons and for the record it was really close to 12:00 noon.

The group photo for cycling teams has been a source of humour for years. There is just no way to stand at attention in ye old spandex. Good thing it was a cold day and we had some shrinkage.

Most of the Palm Springs guys made the drive. They will always show up for a photo opportunity as we have learned. I like those guys better than our riders from let's say the Moreno Valley area.

Light the Taco !

2011-01-26T16:23:00.000-08:00

I really hate to be the last one to the party. So here is a much needed recap of how the new Team Redlands rally cry was born.

Cycling Kit Timeline:

January 4 11:00 AM
New Kits are distributed to the rank and file of Team Redlands.

January 4 3:37 PM
Reports from the field start to trickle in regrading Bib shorts fit.

January 5 12:18 PM
While riding in the drops a TR rider notices the pad which is more located in the front seems to work better.

Later that day reports of riders pulling the shorts into a more Taco like position appear to assist in the fit.

January 7 4:30 PM
Team members start to think of the pad as an inverted Taco. The more you pull the Taco into the shell the better the performance.

January 8 10:05 AM
While riding the rain cross ride in an aggressive position someone is heard yelling Light the Taco !

January 13 (actual time unknown)
Castelli e-mail confirms the following fact " Orientation is consistent with bibs worn in pro peloton by Cervelo and Garmin.Pad is oriented more forward and meant to be optimally comfortable in aggressive riding position.

January 26 4:23 PM
light the Taco is adopted as the official rally cry of all Team Redlands riders.

Trucker hats and T-shirts will soon be available at all fine stores in the 909. All proceeds will go into a prize pool to be given away this summer. That's right The Tuesday night World championships just became Taco Tuesday !

Sponsor Spotlight

2011-01-22T14:23:00.000-08:00

Team sponsorship is something we all take for granted. I am not kidding when I say I have used all of the sponsors in one way or another over the last month. I know what your thinking and no Hangar 24 is not the sponsor I use the most. But it is my favorite.

This month I am spotlighting one of our most loyal sponsors State Farm Insurance. I switched all of my coverage over a couple of years ago and I am glad I did. In addition to being a good guy to ride behind , Scott is the guy you want behind you for all your insurance needs.

I currently have my auto , home and umbrella insurance through Scott. If you have a car , own a home or need an umbrella and don't have Scott as your agent and you ride for Team Redlands then you need to switch. Cause you never know when your gonna end up face down on the wrong side of the Taco.

Call Scott for a quote today and he can run you a " what if " at (909)824-0130. Next month we will spotlight Mundell, Odlum & Haws attorneys at law. Kasey will explain the difference between liable and slander.

How come Redlands has no bike lanes ?

2011-01-18T19:37:00.000-08:00

A January weekend with temps hitting the 80's can only mean one thing. Leave the bike on the wall and head north to Paso Robles.

Paso has some excellent wines. I have a list of must see wineries that is getting bigger every time I visit. Here are my current top five Paso wineries.

1. L'AVENTURE WINERY

2. TURLEY WINE CELLARS

3. ADELAIDA CELLARS

4. CAPARONE WINERY

5. MONDO CELLARS

For a little extra excitement I headed a little north of Paso Robles to San Miguel to eat at the 10th Street Basque Cafe. An 8 course prix fix dinner for 29.95 , that is 8 courses of Basque food. I may have added 8 ounces to my already medium build with that one.

Shirts and Skins

2011-01-13T20:13:00.000-08:00

The new Team Redlands kit made it's debut on the Rain Cross ride last weekend. Due to the overwhelming attendance of Team Redlands riders , next week we will be evoking the shirts and skins rule.

All members with names A-K should wear the Bibs , L-Z just the Tops. We will alternate till summer is officially here.

PS: Chopper was right , you need to be riding in a technically aggressive position to engage the crotch padding of the new kit. It's refereed to as " lighting the Taco ".

Yep the lady's like the new kit !

2011-01-07T15:22:00.000-08:00

I have to say I have worn a few kits in my day. That is not to say I am a "kit chaser" , its just that Team Redlands never seems to be able to keep the same look for more than 2 years.

Today marks day # 3 of the new kit. Here is a recap of how my life has changed in the 3 days I have worn the new kit:

1. I have been given three sets of phone numbers , an invite to a party and some underwear thrown at me from a moving vehicle.

2. My teeth just seem whiter.

3. I got big leagued on serpentine from a dude in a old pull thru kit...

4. I almost won the lottery playing the Lost numbers.

5. It has not rained.

6. Norm added me as a friend on Facebook.

7. Sharks now have a week for me.

8. I lost 3 pounds from my medium frame.

9. The bike shop valet parked my car.

10. A chick fight broke out at Hangar 24 over who could pour me a beer. Thanks Ben!

Has your subscription expired ?

2011-01-05T19:22:00.000-08:00

The January issue of Italian CICLISMO came in the mail today. Just another publication that I subscribe to for the pictures.

That reminded me I sometimes ride a bike and on even more rare occasions race a bike. I renewed my USA cycling licence and then checked the rooster. Below is a list of the current TR members. Looks like some of you need to mow your neighbors lawn.

Team Redlands Active Members as of 7:23pm 1/5/2011:

David Burks 12/31/2011
Norman Carter 12/31/2011
Chopper Free lifetime membership
Van Geslani 12/31/2011
Joseph Gonzalez 12/31/2011
Andrea Hensler 12/31/2011
Steve Hensler 12/31/2011
Brian Hickok 12/31/2011
Chris Horner 12/31/2011
Kyle Jarboe 12/31/2011
Brady Kiss 12/31/2011
Artemio Martinez 12/31/2011
Richard Mitchell 12/31/2011
Scott Penington 12/31/2011
Robert Peppler 12/31/2011
Daniel Reid 12/31/2011
Evan Trubee 12/31/2011
Craig Turner 12/31/2011
Eric Vergon 12/31/2011
Scott Welsh 12/31/2011
Jason Wondolleck 12/31/2011

What's my next move ?

2011-01-02T21:02:00.000-08:00

As 2011 begins I have to admit I am at a cross roads with the blog. A few years ago I decided to just run with it. Run with what you ask. Well after some of personal observations about my life from a group of people who's collective knowledge on life wouldn't fill the mantle of a single wide trailer. I decided to just go with it... ..Turns out going with it ended up being a pretty good idea.

So what will the format be as the year moves forward. I still can't decide. Keep the irreverent and slightly pornographic images flowing or maybe I will write about my travels. Food recipes or document the the movement of white trash into the south side. Maybe a hard hitting look at what the term " free lifetime tune " really means. Maybe I will train for the Ironman with Lance.

My guess is I won't change anything because I am an American and we don't like change. So here comes another year. Hold on to your hats and glasses cause this is gonna be a wild ride. I promise.

Spoiler alert that Fish ain't gonna make it !

One last taste of Christmas

2010-12-29T22:01:00.000-08:00

Some of you rent movies like Rocky or Rudy for inspiration. For me its just a simple gesture from a little rebel named Marcus. Keep the faith Marcus , We all know what a beating you took three weeks later when Fotomat said your pictures were ready.

PS: I miss Fotomat.

You would know if you were a member !

2010-12-28T20:20:00.000-08:00

I got out for a double secret squirrel winter training ride yesterday. The ride was an all out effort from the first climb out of the Stater Bros parking lot until we hit the top of Jack Rabbit trail.

The ride total was Eight and no one team was represented. This was no Team Redlands ride. What was the importance of these 8 riders? What team kits were represented? Who tweeted the ride? What web site sanctioned this event? Isn't Monday an off day on the training calendar?

On the eve of a new year. New teams and new team kits. It appears an underground movement continues to grow and operate within the Redlands cycling scene. For a while now a rumour has been growing about a group of individuals who operate under the team kits that drape their backs.

The unofficial blog has been aware for some time of a Secret Society of riders that operate under the name Skull and Bikes. The organization appears to be made up of a select number of people from each team. The organization also appears to have a people in very high positions with the local cycling scene.

Don't look for this group at the local pizza place holding a secret meeting anytime soon. The meetings are secret , the members are few and there is no way to join this group and yes you would know if you were a member.